*why is it that on the warmest day of 2005 i bust out with my bulkiest sweater with a t-shirt underneath? i need to listen to more newsradio while i'm getting ready. nelly furtado just isn't informative enough.
*i put my pops on a plane to the motherland today. then i hear they had a tsunami-similar earthquake without the tsunami. great. sounds like all's okay, but still. it had to be today?
*i walked by bathroom at work today and spotted a faded newspaper article in the cubicle of the person who sits right in front of the bathroom door. headline: 'do you sit by the bathroom?' it may have been the end of the night, but i thought that was hilarious. i'll have to go read it when no one's around.
* last night at the dungeon, i walked in behind this attractive hoochiemama. i'm talking long, i-curled-it-strand-by-strand-because-only-the-top-layer-is-in-ringlets hair. 1/2 hour job, minimum. UBERtight stretch booty jeans stuffed into knee-high stiletto boots. straight out of a poison concert but with updated hair/makeup and without the acid wash. the security guard looked sheepish when i said hello as he was practically falling out of his window staring down the hall as she walked by.
i know, i'm going to hell. i've requested a window seat for the trip. what's worse? i felt relieved. because why would psychoblueeye want stare at no-makeup me when he can stalk her? what's EVEN WORSE? for one second, i thought maybe she was an exotic dancer being sent to someone who works here. i know! i've packed my bags.
but seriously, if she had smiled back at me or said hi while we waited for the elevator, i wouldn't have said this about her. i'm sure she's a perfectly nice woman who has her guard up in the dungeon. i know that i do; i have on my bitchface as soon as i step out of the car. don't mess!
* reading: chocolat -- some of the best imagery i've ever seen
* watching: brown sugar, whalerider, some like it hot -- in order of how much i liked them (b.s. made me fall in love with hip hop again)
* listening: nelly furtado 'whoa nelly' -- a classic
* making: the scarf that won't grow -- never again with the babyfine yarn; bulky is better, baby, except when it's warm outside.
* wishing: i could take this sweater off.
Well, I am going to hell, but it's worse. I'm stuck in the claustrophobic middle seat between you and the drooling snorer. Today I am on the train platform and this woman is standing right next to me with her mouth open, which made me wonder if she was looking to catch some flies. Even worse, her big teeth were protruding, making it look like she was about to start laughing or talking. I sat there for 10 minutes gawking at this woman (disclaimer: she did not have any "problems," she was just weird). When she sat down next to me and I still couldn't stop looking and talking smack in my head, I said to myself, "I'm going to hell." So save my seat, cadiz.
ReplyDeleteyou know we travel well together, cc. i JUST don't GET why people keep their mouths open for extended amounts of time. honestly, besides the fly-nesting factor, doesn't it get dry up in there? wondering that about some lady on the train is not a hellifying offense. but commiserating with me on trashtalking former acquaintances is a one-way ticket. hope the movie on the flight to hell is a good one.
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