i sigh as i find myself in the dungeon again tonight. and it's not one of fear.
yes, my friends, i'm over the dungeon.
it no longer incites terror and goosebumps.
it no longer turns my knuckles white as i grip my pepper spray, ready for an attack.
it no longer causes my toes to hurt because i am tiptoeing down the halls for fear that psychoblueeye will hear my clacking heels.
it no longer inspires me to look around everywhere in psycho fashion during my entire stay.
it no longer makes me look upon all strangers with mistrust. caution, definitely, but not mistrust.
it no longer keeps me from eating dinner for fear of being a sitting duck.
however, should i become decapitated during my tenure here because of my lax preparedness, you'll all know that at least i did not live in fear.
bring irises to the funeral.
Did you get that tranquilizer gun yet? Just because you let your guard down doesn’t mean you can’t leave your options open…
ReplyDeletedamn ebay. they claim to have lost my order. but i do have my eye on a very svelte blue wig. i just need to set up the target practice and i'll be ready to rock.
ReplyDeleteYou should definitely invest in a super death ray. They minutely target bad guys from wherever you're sitting. You could probably find one at a gun show, or a comic book convention.
ReplyDeletewas gonna suggest pepper spray.
ReplyDeletewho are you......?
ReplyDeletehey cadiz, have you thought of the fact that maybe you yourself scare the whoever with the blue eye?? just remember, they're probably just as afraid of you as you are of them. Or perhaps you should bake them some coooookies and make friends!?
ReplyDeleteale, i already gave him my friendliest curt hello with a no-motion wave. i think that's the best i can do when all he could do was open his eye wider and stare.
ReplyDeletewhere can i get a superdeath ray? do you need training for that?
and adam, i'm just a girl who works nights in an office waiting for reports (last night until after 3 a.m, may i add)so once in awhile i just hit 'next blog' over and over and sometimes leave comments.
the weird thing about the internet is that you may think no one can see you, but often they just don't say anything.
The super death ray is an upgrade over the tranquilizer gun, but I hear getting a permit for that thing is a pain. Of course, there are ways around that. None of which are legal, but then again, maybe it’s not “legal” for me to keep 14 fully grown crocodiles in my apartment, so who am I to judge.
ReplyDelete