sith's revenge

let's recap the highlights of today:

* sleep was bad:

in the middle of my much-needed rest, i woke up, possessed. i shot out of bed and was running around the house in a frenzy -- only about 13% awake -- getting stuff together and trying to convince people i was having surgery and needed to get ready for it.

* waking up was bad:

after i was reassured and led back to my bed, i fell into such a deep sleep that i managed to turn off the alarm across the room without waking up -- until three hours past when i needed to. i didn't even make it to the hospital before work.

in an attempt to multitask, i left my lunch unattended. boiling noodles in the microwave may seem harmless to the average person, but the average person probably has not come back 15 minutes later to find her lunch bloated and bulging out from the bowl. ramen is absolutely inedible when overcooked, and looks disgusting in the garbage disposal as well.

* traffic was bad:

this message is for mr. gray infiniti.
sunday driving is never an acceptable method of travel in the left lane during rush hour. in fact, it is unacceptable on sundays and every other day of the week, for that matter. i also suggest you go back to your drivers' education facility and slap someone for not explaining that the rear-view mirror is a means to know WHEN TO GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY. people, such as ambulances or nissans, are trying to get to their gd destinations.

this message is for mr. blue-green corsica.
you motherf*cker. what ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH made you think that trapping someone who is trying to get around gray infiniti grandpa by driving alongside them and slowing down when they slow down was funny? especially when the coast is completely clear all around? you just bought yourself a one-way ticket to hell, pal. and the first thing they are gonna do is cut off that fugly ponytail and MAKE YOU EAT IT.

on top of that, in the patch of bad traffic i looked down to see yet another one of my pants have been rendered unwearable. there is some kind of hole on the outside of the right leg. more like a tear. ugh. now i'm really going to have to go shopping.

* parking was bad:

i made 11 (got that? E-LEV-EN) loops around the 8-block vicinity of the office, trying to find a space. what made it worse was there were several lovely meters taunting me by having f-ing CONSTRUCTION EQUIPMENT in front of them. however, after 45 minutes i managed to cram my car between a dumpster and an escalade without tripping the alarm on either. (jon, you would have been proud.) needless to say, i was a little late.

* dinner was bad:

i was desperate. so when we got to Popeyes, ten minutes before it closed, i ordered mashed potatoes and mac and cheese. the mac was very obviously from the very bottom of the tray, scraped together and compacted beyond the limits of physics into my tiny bowl. yeah, it wasn't good. i should have learned my noodle lesson this afternoon.

* the weather was bad:

there was this creepy-ass misting fog rolling around the city today, decapitating most of the skyline. it honestly looked like a scene from the first Batman movie. and when i went outside to move the car into the lot (after the suits go home), it began to pour. as i got into the building, it stopped. of course, for the rest of the night i walked around the building with the very top layer of my hair curly, sticking out in every direction like a halo because of the humidity. (the shop had ran out of my only beauty must-have, anti-frizz leave-in conditioner.)

something about the rain makes people forget the rules of the road. getting wet does NOT give pedestrians the authorization to dart out from between parked cars into oncoming traffic and expect drivers to see them. having windshield wipers on does not make a case for failing to make sure a car isn't coming in the parking lot, especially when you are hiding behind a jeep grand cherokee. people are stupid.


*but this, this was good:

as i came in, dripping from the rain, i bumped into a middleaged coworker whose kooky style and lack of volume control make for hours of entertainment. i asked her what she thought the deal was with the creepy foggy mess outside.

'oh, that?'

she closed her eyes, tipped her head back slowly and replied in a very authoritative voice.

'it's just those star trek people. they've done something to turn every major city into gotham so they can have just the right atmosphere for their premiere.'