sneaky little weasel

'what's up with you stealing my pillow last night? the guest room pillows are too puffy. i couldn't sleep, man.'

'yeah, my first night back i come home early from hanging out with the guys to watch the show with you when you got in, and you decide to go out drinking after work. what the hell?'

'huh? when i called to see if you'd landed, you were already at Dave's house. that's never an early night.'

'UH, but then i said i'd be home by the time you'd be. then i called you like five times.'

'i figured you were out, so i left my phone in the car. and uh, well... i kind of already watched it when i got home. but you were sound asleep!'

'WHAT?! i came home at TEN-THIRTY for you! oh i'm so gonna kick your ass. you just watch out, i'm going to saran wrap your bed or something.'

'dude... hey, isn't it punishment enough that i got a ticket?'

'just you wait.'