thick skin of my teeth

i relished my days off. slept in late. dawdled about getting ready. watched a lot of tv. it really was a lazy long weekend. but i didn't want it to count for nothing.

so i had planned for a lovely evening out. we were supposed to have dinner, catch a comedy show at Second City and make it to my friend's birthday party. reservations were at five p.m.

at four p.m., i was still lying in bed, yelling at julia roberts' character in 'my best friend's wedding' for being such a meddling, selfish beeyatch. (i hated her in that movie. the actress, the character, what she did, everything. if only i hadn't despised cameron diaz so much, i'd have REALLY hated old jules. ironically, i really like the movie itself -- mostly because she didn't get the man. that and rupert everett singing.) so when the restaurant called to confirm the reservations, i paused to panic and pretend i thought they were for five-thirty, which worked.

if you thought that stroke of luck would be enough to light a fire under my ass to get up and get ready, think again. i lazed around until after julia dedicated the sculpture-licker rendition of 'the way you look tonight' to the happy couple before getting it together.

we sat in monster saturday night traffic to the city, looked for parking and made it to the restaurant at six-fifteen. the hostess wasn't too happy, but gave us a pager anyway. our show started at seven, and despite having booked tickets almost a month ahead, it worked on first-come, first-served seating that began at six-thirty. yeah, our chances of making it were looking slimmer and slimmer. by six-thirty we were still ordering. but we mentioned to the server that we had a show at seven, and god bless him, he got us out of there with five minutes to spare.

we were cutting it close. especially when we went to the wrong ticket booth all together. by six-fifty-eight, it was likely we'd have to split up and sit in empty spots here and there or sit behind a pole or something. but we were the second-to-last party to be seated and still managed to get front-row spots off to the side. as we sat down, the show began.

after it was over (very good, btw), we had time to pick up liquor and chips and head off to the birthday festivities, even less than fashionably late. we even found a parking spot sort of close by. seriously, lady luck was winking at me that night. it's the only explanation for how such a sloppy start could turn into such a sweet evening.

the thing about me is, no matter how close i'm cutting it, somehow, someway, i manage to scrape by and make it. right up until seconds before deadline. it's always been that way -- and i get a little rush off the panic, too. i know, i have a problem. and one day it's going to bite me right in the booty. when it really counts. and of that very day i live in constant fear and paranoia; which consequently doesn't cause me to improve my behavior.

my company that night showed tremendous patience and sportsmanship, despite all the tailgating, screaming at traffic, time requesting, running, hostess pleading and inhaling of food that my tardiness demanded. the only comment was, 'you know, cadiz, you definitely get an A+ for planning. it's just the execution that needs a little work.'

sigh.