let's give her what she wants

'what's this project mom is making?'

'oh probably another baby blanket. you know she's always into that stuff.'

'you're right; plus her friend just got a granddaughter. mom was all like 'j beat me! i thought i'd have a grandkid first.'

'she needs to stop with that.'

'you're telling ME? i get all the pressure, kid. you're the boy, you have nothing to worry about.'

'yeah, you're probably right about that. you know what we should do?'

'tell her what's up? i've hinted, but i don't think it's going to work.'

'no, we should get her one of those realistic babydolls, you know they make fancy ones that cry and wet and all that stuff. we'll make her carry it around with her all day and night so she has to worry about it like that parenting class in high school.'

'like carrying around that egg thing all day? you know, we never had to do that.'

'we didn't either. but i'm just saying. then i can rig it so that somehow the thing doesn't shut up and just cries and cries.'

'nah, it'll never work. she lives for stuff like taking care of babies. plus, ahem, she's had a lot of experience with nonstop crying. granted, it's because you were having so much trouble breathing, but still. i don't remember her even breaking a sweat.'

'yeah, but you forget one thing: it'd really piss dad off.'

'you're a genius.'