Tuesday, January 15, 2008

someone tell the boogeyman to leave me alone

Last night I fell asleep on the couch at 11, transferred to my bedroom at 11:45 and flew out of bed at 3 am as though my footie pajamas were on fire because even though the clock said 3:07, my brain read it as 8:07 and I thought I had way overslept, missed the only bus I can get (which is probably going to be canceled anyway) and wouldn't make it to a Very Important work day.

As I calmed myself down and lay down again, I realized that this is the fifth or sixth in a series of bad dreams that have shaken me awake in the last few weeks, including one where I was in an underwater knife fight with some broad with long red hair that was flowing around so much that I couldn't see well enough to get a good shot at her.

That's not the half of it. I know the last thing anyone wants to read about is somebody else's messed up nightmares, but mine run like feature-length black and white movies. Maybe one day I'll sit down and write about that time when I was this badass cop named Keshia who could actually pull off the running-roll-onto-the-floor-while-shooting move and caught the badguys or that other time when I was a 56-year-old white man contemplating suicide because I had shot my Throw-Mama-From-the-Train (I think it was that same actress, too) mother and the feds were coming for me. But those are stories for another time.

For today, I am TIRED. Normally I sleep like a brick—it practically takes a wrecking ball to dislodge me from bed, and with a few solid hits, at that. Waking up multiple times a night with nobody to blame that doesn't live inside my head makes having to actually wake up so much more agonizing when I realize it's the real deal.

So I'm going to need this to stop. Like now. 

13 comments:

  1. I need to know just two things:

    1. Do you really have footie pajamas?

    2. If so, WHERE DID YOU GET THEM?

    (I mean, of COURSE I want you to sleep better. But I need to know about the footies.)

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  2. oh how i WISH i still had real footie pajamas; those used to make me so happy as a kid. i believe you can buy them at department stores, but they're usually two-piece and made for bigger-than-average children.

    the rest of us who are taller than bigger-than-average children must pretend by tucking our pajamas into our socks. which is what i do. and i call them footie-pajamas. i guess that's misleading. i apologize.

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  3. no pj's you should sleep neakid so ur skin can breathe giiirl! then you wont have no bad dreams! make sure you air out your room each day too-

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  4. i don't know if that's such a good idea, ale. you know i talk in my sleep--sometimes i'm yelling and the roommates come running.

    that potential scenario is one i'd rather not think about.

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  5. Oddly enough, I've woken myself up the last two nights in a row with "OHMYGOD-WHAT-TIME-IS-IT-I'M-LATE" thoughts, only to realize that it's like 12:01 and I'm a freak.

    Regarding the sleep talking? I've actually changed clothes in my sleep. It's the weirdest dammed thing.

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  6. I actually like waking up in the middle of the night, because it's so pleasant to be able to go back to sleep. I don't wake up on purpose, but a couple of nights ago, I woke up every hour, starting at 3 am. While it was disappointing when I finally had to get out of bed (and maybe all that going-back-to-sleep is why I've been late to work so often recently), it wasn't as bad as it sometimes is because I had gotten to "snooze" like five times!

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  7. omg the same thing happened to me on sunday! only i thought it was monday morning and freaked out that i was late for work. basically, my dear, i think this means you are stressed out. maybe a hot bath will ease your sleepy time?

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  8. I get super annoyed in my sleep if I realize my socks are still on. That being said, I think some people might not mind the footie pajama feel.

    http://www.jumpinjammerz.com/

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  9. I've been having weird dreams lately myself, but no underwater knife fights. No fair, your nightmares are cooler than mine!

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  10. haha, footie-pajamas! Awesome!

    Oh, but sorry about your bad dreams. :)

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  11. I hate those "OMG, gonna be late!" wake-ups!

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  12. I don't know if I've said this yet, but being unemployed means never having to freak out that you're late for work. Just something to think about...

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