seeing a rainbow through the downpour

Last Thursday, as my boss was packing up her stuff, helping interview candidates for her position and saying goodbye, our biggest client called to say that it's canceling its use of our product. This is devastating news for a now-three-person startup that relies on that client for nearly 100% of its overhead costs. There are some other avenues that can still be pursued, but in the worst-case scenario, I'll need a new job by November.

It's last year, all over again, except without the cushion of savings to fall back on.

This morning I read a post by Anne, who's going through a very rough time in her life right now and could easily despair. But instead, she took 15 minutes to list the things that she's grateful for. It was a good reminder that losing a job is one thing, but I shouldn't lose sight of the wonderful things I do have:

My brother is healthy; his leg surgery seems to have healed well, and he's turning 26 on Friday!

My parents have their health, they are safe, secure and would do anything for me. I pray that I will never be forced to ask.

H has been reassuring, even physically shaking me out of believing this is some kind of karmic retaliation I had coming. His family even called in concern when they saw my twitter about the bad news.

My friends have been incredibly wonderful and supportive. My freak-out email was met with concerned phone calls, job-opening recommendations and requests for my resume.

I am in good health.

I have a roof over my head and food to eat and a lot of modern luxuries in daily life. I don't have a car payment, and can walk pretty much wherever I need to go.

Even if I must switch careers, I have worked in several facets of my industry, including a place I visited during school and said, "I'm going to work here someday." So I can leave with no regrets.

I don't have any poisonous relationships, and have done my best to reduce the baggage I carry from those I've had in the past.

I'm grateful for all of you, who have offered up so much support over the years. You're the best.

There are many more, but unfortunately we won't be hiring another person, so I have more work to do and it's not going anywhere. If posting here is sporadic, forgive me, but it's likely to be more frequent: This is where I like to come and complain. So forgive me for that, too.