waiting

It’s amazing how exhausted you can get just sitting.

There was no point in going to bed when we had to be at the hospital at 5 a.m. My brother insisted on filling out paperwork without us hovering over him. But when i heard the girl behind the desk giggle, I knew he just didn’t want to lose any cool points by being associated with us. He even managed to charm his pre-op nurse -- though they’re die-hard baseball rivals -- in the first 15 minutes he knew her.

He ended up opting for the entire grueling re-routing procedure, not just the hardware-installation part. We were surprised because all this time we didn’t think he was down with that because of what he may have to give up. It was a rough decision.

4 magazines, 3 talk shows, 2 soap operas, 1 newspaper, 2 head-jerking pseudo naps, 3 trips to the vending machine, 2 trips to the bathroom and 13 hours of sitting in a too-many-times-sat-in chair later, we were told they wheeled him into recovery.

It was just as bad as has always been. And it still makes me suck in my breath. Like I’m seeing a piece of my own heart strapped down to the bed with 15 tubes coming out of every place not covered by a blanket. Even in his complete state of intubated ignorance, the kid was still trying to communicate: mouthing to us that he loved us, asking that the important people in his life knew it, too, and thanking us for being there. He even gestured to the nurse for a pen and paper though he didn’t have the strength to wrap his fingers around them and his eyes were still too swollen to see.

I know I’m biased, but he’s a class act.

it warms my heart to get all of your kind thoughts and messages. It’s still early, but the doctors sound optimistic and I can’t help but believe your energy helped make that possible.