jury duty is complete -- i wasn't selected. funny, but now i'm a little disappointed. that video they made us watch about how it's an important part of what makes our country so great struck a chord with me and i was sort of looking forward to it.
the day was not devoid of drama, however. i spent the bulk of it irritated beyond belief, because the most annoying person on earth and the second-most annoying person on earth had both been selected for today's juror pool, somehow already knew each other, and of course, decided to sit right by me.
to be brief, let me say that i am still on page 45 of Harry Potter despite an ENTIRE DAY DEVOTED TO READING because tweedle dum and tweedle dee's loud grating, stupid-topic, cigarette-feening, peppered-with-beavislike-hehhehs conversation continually burrowed into my ears, implanting homicidal thoughts. i may have read the same five pages at least seven times. and nothing could block it. not ear-plugging, not tv-watching, not mindless magazine reading, NOTHING! believe me, i was on vigil, waiting for someone farther away to go to the bathroom so i could run over and steal their spot. to no avail. i had to listen to these guys prattle on from 9 a.m. to nearly noon when we took a break for lunch. granted, that's not very long, but think of it as three hours of fingernails on a chalkboard.
we got back from break and i chose a spot pretty far away from where i had been sitting. i got into reading and even closed my eyes for a tiny nap when suddenly i hear, 'dude, someone took our seats! i guess we'll have to sit here,' coming from right behind me! holy chainsaws, i thought i was going to lose it. the blue-shirt guy to my left probably could tell, because he looked at me and shook his head sympathetically. (he had been sitting next to me before the break as well and joined me in the corner -- probably to get away from those clowns, too.)
the stirrings of insanity were sending me into a mild panic, but luck was on my side and the disruptive duo got up in search of coffee. shortly afterward, the announcerperson said that the three cases on the lineup for today wouldn't be needing jurors and that we had fulfilled our obligation. the first was a criminal case in which the defendant forfeited his right to a jury. the second was a civil suit and they reached a settlement. and the third, a medical malpractice case, had been predicted to last at least four weeks but the judge was adding a bunch of motions that would take some time, so they wouldn't be getting around to choosing jurors today.* phew.
as i got up to go, i realized just how pretty the blue-shirt guy was. i had been so peeved, i hadn't even really noticed.** annoying chatty bastards.
(* please forgive me if i got some of the legalese wrong. i was half out of my mind.
** i'm not usually this intolerant, but something about the not-loud-but-intrusive way these guys were acting and playing their cellphone ringers drove me up the wall.)
Quote of the day: "i got into reading and even closed my eyes for a tiny nap when suddenly i hear, 'dude, someone took our seats! i guess we'll have to sit here,' coming from right behind me! holy chainsaws, i thought i was going to lose it."
ReplyDeleteholy chainsaws. that's great. you don't mind if i steal that, huh?
funny that you should mention harry potter, my sister-in-law had the book delivered to her front door at 10am on Saturday. the mailman heaved the box on the porch like it was a hydrogen bomb and left muttering curse words. i guess cause he had about 20 of those to drop off.
wow, Harry Potter is defintely getting his share of publicity on these blogs. I mentioned something about him in one of my posts and a girl decided to come in and tell me how absolutely wonderful Harry and his books are. I was left with the thought...please get a life! I may have to read one of the books just so I can despise him with real knowledge instead of ignorance.
ReplyDeleteSorry your day was such a challenge. Enjoyed reading your blog. wow that sounded mean.
yeah, this harry potter thing has really turned into a phenomenon. i heard about the book long before it got dress-up popular. in fact, the first book was recommended to us by our 50-year-old law professor. however, now that there's been so much hype, i can see how it can irritate people. but all that aside, they are pretty good books.
ReplyDeleteI hear the annoying people complaint. I was on the train tonight and the most annoying valley girls hovered over me (although they probably weren't as annoying as Beavis and Butthead). I was tired and had to listen to them say, "Like, omigod, I totally, like, agree..." All I wanted to do was read my paper in peace. Is that too much to ask?
ReplyDeleteNothing annoys me more than people playing with their cell phone ringers! Nothing!
ReplyDeleteKeep in mind that I've never been bitten by a shark. That might annoy me more.
But aside from the possibility of shark bites... Nothing!
so sorry about those guys. reminds me of the characters i hear riding on the amtrak...OMG. Here is a sampling:
ReplyDelete-handheld games played w/volume on
-dvds being watched w/o headphones!
-people talking about themselves non-stop (=4hrs) to total strangers
-singing along to cds loudly
-cell ringers being sampled of course
-drunk housewives screeching loudly about how glad they are to be going away from husbands for the wknd.
and my "favorite": those who have very loud conversations on their cell... usually about very private topics.
grr.
oh, i don't think you've seen the end of jury duty. i'm sure you'll see it again.
ReplyDeletev. impressed with the legalese. only change: the Defendant waived his right to a jury. ;)
you get an A-
ha! "holy chainsaws"
ReplyDeleteI've never heard that one before. And as with "no prob, bob" and jon's "wildly entertaining," I will make it my mission to say it.
Speaking of holy chainsaw annoying... there's a project manager that sits right outside of my cube in a small desk so he's VERY close to me and likes to yell while he's making personal phone calls. One day he made like 10 consecutive calls to the vet, roofing place and it goes on. I was so aggrivated I had to reach out to Ags over IM and even she, about 2 cube rows over, and like 60 feet away could totally hear him. It was so loud I couldn't even drown him out with my iPod and I was ON THE VERGE of just sticking my head over the wall to give him a dirty look of SHUT THE FK UP PLEASE.
ReplyDeleteAggrivating!!!!!!
oh cadiz, you know what you do to shut a guy up? just make out with him... you should have frenched one as the other watched with jaw to the ground... and then switch up... and THAN move to the corner and make out with the pretty blue shirt guy...!!!!
ReplyDeleteand here i thought you were going to say:
"the stirrings of insanity were sending me into a mild panic, but luck was on my side and the disruptive duo got up in search of some BEER CANS to smash against their numb sculls"
you guys are welcome to take 'holy chainsaws' and use it with abandon, anytime. i was inspired by dick grayson (the original) because i've been watching a lot of adam west-batman reruns lately. i love that show.
ReplyDeletegeez, there are a lot of irritating people out there. dude, if i'm in the right mood, just let me know and i'll go on a chainsaw rampage for you.
just kidding. well, only sort of.
woohoo! A-! i'll settle for that. i'll be sure to say it correctly next time. but i'm glad to have your approval, jazz.
holy chainsaws...charming. harry potter diehard or novice? and did you do anything about the blue shirt guy's cuteness?
ReplyDeleteOooo. I hope you did. Day's not complete without a little flirtation.
ReplyDeleteAnd I think Ginny Weasley is awesome. I've been dying to say so all day and this finally felt like the moment.
ladies, i hate to disappoint, but i'm way too mistrustful for the see-and-flirt method.
ReplyDeletebesides, i got the odd feeling he was looking to be sweated. he violated the every-other-cushion unwritten rule by sitting right next to me, and then put his foot on his knee, putting his other knee into my space. then he kept stretching, making his shirt lift up (which is tricky, especially when he's sitting down). so i purposely didn't really look at him until i was getting up to leave. besides, if he wanted to talk to me, he would have. plus i was in a bad mood b/c of those other idiots.
p.s. syar, i'm a fan, but not a dress-up fan. and ginny's a badass.
Oh, I can't stand how that knee intrudes my personal space! It's why I walk everywhere instead of catching the bus...
ReplyDeleteHa. You want to know irritating?
ReplyDeleteYou're in a queue. There's a jerk behind you. How do you know he's a jerk? He sneezes. And he didn't COVER HIS STINKING BIG GOB!