the problem with parking is that, even if you're fabulously lucky enough to find a spot in front of the club because you took too long when you *thought* you knew where it was, you have to parallel park between a bentley and a hummer and you can't even love tap them for fear of tripping a car alarm. if that were to happen you can just kiss the smile-at-the-bouncer technique of jumping in line goodbye.
tricky business.
Though tricky it may be, if you pull it off, I don’t think you’ll be waiting in any line at all. At least you wouldn’t if I were the bouncer, but that’s fairly improbable as I am small, weak and not a good fighter…
ReplyDeletesomehow i managed to squeeze in there. for god's sake it was right in front. when the heck do i ever get that lucky? and then we didn't have to wait too much b/c the bouncer liked my friend and let us skip cover. that was cool all around.
ReplyDeletei think the real PROBLEM is that you didnt arrive WITH the person in the bentley or the hummer--
ReplyDeleteTHATS the problem with parkinglot--
cadiz cadiz-- what r we going to do with you...
Have you ever had to parallel park between two HUGE ass Prados and then later when you wanted to go for lunch, drive the thing out from between those giants and a third that was parked not more than two feet BEHIND your car? I do that everyday at work. I have considered giving up lunch all together.
ReplyDeleteAle, what do i need the other person for? i will have my OWN bentley, thank you very much. unfortunately, that may be pretty far down the road, so maybe you have a point.
ReplyDeleteyeah, those big vehicles are really a pain in the ass to share the streets with. i feel like some of them should get truck status and have to stay in their own lanes, etc. gas guzzlers.
Yeah or maybe they could have their own streets :>
ReplyDeleteI linked you, hope that's ok.
cabbies are our friends. where were you at?
ReplyDeletei love cabs as much as the next guy, but we were already coming from a show that was way too far out. i did get that awesome spot, though.
ReplyDeletethanks for the link!
i really think i need to be living in the city.
having ur own bentley is vulgar- riding with someone who has one is aight-
ReplyDeletekaiya- cabs??? are you crazy?? petit cadiz princess no take ze cab- how u say... it iz dizguuaasting
i'd rather have someone else driving.
ReplyDeletei want to learn how to drive stick. does anyone have a beat up manual car?
ReplyDeleteyour problem with parking seems to be a universal one. i suggest plans to keep these posts active and make revisions where need be for future drivers education classes. those eager teenagers could learn a lot from these lessons.
ReplyDeletei shall call the present DE classes "The Practice" and your parking lessons/problematic occurrences "The Theory".
hey kaiya- i got a better idea!!!
ReplyDeletehow about i just beat you up manually --- :)
Maybe I'm sick, but I like those parking spots. And if it was me, I'd pull up as close to that Bentley as possible, just to piss him off.
ReplyDeleteanother scary driving story to almsot put me off getting my license. almost. but you pulled it off right? you must've missed tripping any alarms by an inch of your life then tripped happily into the club, breezing by the bouncer who says "have a good day" as you breeze by. i have faith in that is how it ended.
ReplyDeletethat's absolutely how it went. i didn't even love tap them. and you know i got up close and was practically kissing the bentley. that's probably as close as i'm ever going to get to one. i was at the top of my game that night.
ReplyDeletewe got in faster because the bouncer was making eyes at my married friend (yeah, she's still got it). the line was all guys, so he let us go ahead.
i'm more than happy to bitch about my parking mishaps anytime. and knowing that there's a chance it can help someone makes it all the sweeter.
I wish I had a Hummer. I'd just drive right over other cars that were parked too close. In the future, some poor kid will be worried about trying to park between your Bentley and my H2. (If he touches your Bentley, I can run him over for that too, if you like.)
ReplyDeleteyou're driving a Phantom right?
ReplyDeleteale!!!! hahahahaha that was pretty damn funny. beat her up manually!!! YUK YUK YUK!!!
ReplyDeleteaw, thanks omar. i might take you up on that running-over-obtrusive-vehicles offer sooner than you may think.
ReplyDeletei don't have a phantom, but i am working on getting a go-go-gadget copter so i can fly to work and then just fold it up into my hat. but penny and brain are tough negotiators, so it's looking like i have to suck it up and keep driving.
A random hummer story: When Ole Schwarzennegger took office, there was public outcry about his Hummer because it's such a gas guzzler and polluter. So, he offered to retrofit it as a gas/electric hybrid.
ReplyDeleteI find it funny that first he invented the car and then he reinvented the car. Can't wait to see what he does to it next.