Wednesday, September 10, 2008

seeing a rainbow through the downpour

Last Thursday, as my boss was packing up her stuff, helping interview candidates for her position and saying goodbye, our biggest client called to say that it's canceling its use of our product. This is devastating news for a now-three-person startup that relies on that client for nearly 100% of its overhead costs. There are some other avenues that can still be pursued, but in the worst-case scenario, I'll need a new job by November.

It's last year, all over again, except without the cushion of savings to fall back on.

This morning I read a post by Anne, who's going through a very rough time in her life right now and could easily despair. But instead, she took 15 minutes to list the things that she's grateful for. It was a good reminder that losing a job is one thing, but I shouldn't lose sight of the wonderful things I do have:

My brother is healthy; his leg surgery seems to have healed well, and he's turning 26 on Friday!

My parents have their health, they are safe, secure and would do anything for me. I pray that I will never be forced to ask.

H
has been reassuring, even physically shaking me out of believing this is some kind of karmic retaliation I had coming. His family even called in concern when they saw my twitter about the bad news.

My friends have been incredibly wonderful and supportive. My freak-out email was met with concerned phone calls, job-opening recommendations and requests for my resume.

I am in good health.

I have a roof over my head and food to eat and a lot of modern luxuries in daily life. I don't have a car payment, and can walk pretty much wherever I need to go.

Even if I must switch careers, I have worked in several facets of my industry, including a place I visited during school and said, "I'm going to work here someday." So I can leave with no regrets.

I don't have any poisonous relationships, and have done my best to reduce the baggage I carry from those I've had in the past.

I'm grateful for all of you, who have offered up so much support over the years. You're the best.

There are many more, but unfortunately we won't be hiring another person, so I have more work to do and it's not going anywhere. If posting here is sporadic, forgive me, but it's likely to be more frequent: This is where I like to come and complain. So forgive me for that, too.

11 comments:

Teej said...

Those gratefulness exercises always put things in better perspective, don't they? That's an impressive list. Hang in there, chickie.

naechstehaltestelle said...

I think you have a fantastic attitude - trying to see the good in everything. I bet you'll get a job really soon :)

Michelle said...

Heartfelt and lovely =) even though you don't know us personally, i hope i speak for all when i say we'll be here to offer support and advice anyway, no matter how much you have to complain about! Just keep your list in mind whenever you feel like it's all going downhill =)

Anne said...

Job changes are scary when they're happening. But most say they lead to needed, positive change in the end. That doesn't make it any easier when you're going through it. Maybe focusing on the good stuff can help get you through the scary stuff and bring you to a positive place.

Syar said...

Forgive you for complaining, are you kidding me? But you do it so eloquently and wittily, they're basically pleasures to read!*

:)

I sincerely hope you don't have to go through the whole rigmarole of getting another job again, but if it does happen, I know you'll be up for the challenge. There's mountains of proof of your capability and just, sheer excellence. Hang in there, lovely!

*This is only 1/4th sarcastic, I swear! You can be sarcastic and sincere at the same time right? Because I am both.

Lia said...

Keep venting, Cadiz. That's what we're here for - to listen.

I'm sorry to hear the bad news - that's pretty nerve-wracking. Warm wishes and good job-related vibes coming from here.

Librarian Girl said...

That's a durn good list. Those lists are always such a helpful thing to do.

Good luck!

Sphincter said...

Holy stress, Batman! But that's a wonderful list of good things to have in your life.

You could always come to the dark side and become a librarian, you know...It's not all buns and Shhhhing anymore.

cadiz12 said...

Librarian has always been high on my list of possibilities. Ever since that sweet librarian would recommend and hold books for me when I was a really little kid, I've thought they were the best.

cadiz12 said...

thank you, everyone, for your kind words and encouragement. you really are a great supportive network!

jinius said...

i truly believe that the minute you stop and meditate on the things that you are grateful for, the universe will bring you more positive gifts. like a self fulfilling prophecy.