"Did you know there's a new book out about the '85 Bears?"
"Hold up a second: Are you suggesting that I get you A BOOK for Christmas?!?*"
"No, I already bought it."
"Um, what kind of guy shops for himself right before the holidays?"
"This guy. If I want it, I buy it."
*As much as I don't like owning books, I love to give them. And my brother claims not to read, which is why it frustrates him when I keep giving him books. Yet somehow he's intimately familiar with the contents of certain sports books--many of which he has received as gifts. From me.