A long time ago when people used to make fun of me for knitting (before it was a trendy hipster thing to do) and making clothes and other crafty stuff, I used to laugh and say I'm honing those skills "to prepare for the depression." That might have gotten a snicker in the heyday of the '90s/early-'00s, but it sure isn't funny now.
Another thing I always say is that I must have used up all of my allotted all-nighters writing papers in college. Tonight I'm really really praying that's not true. Because if I wake up in a puddle of drool at this desk at noon tomorrow, I AM SCREWED.