Wednesday, December 04, 2013

it doesn't happen on tv, so that means it doesn't happen, right?

Basically I'm pregnant. They didn't find a heartbeat at the first ultrasound last week and the baby measured six weeks when I was supposed to be further along. We went in today (seven days later), no heartbeat identified and measurement is still six weeks, so apparently this classifies as a "missed miscarriage" because my body has not yet recognized that the baby stopped progressing and continues to make me vomit and feel sore and gross. I am scheduled for a D&C on Friday.

This really sucks. But it's nowhere near as bad as what happened in May, when I had to naturally deliver a perfectly healthy baby knowing she wasn't developed enough to be saved.

What really ticks me off is that there is a 15-25% chance that ANY pregnancy will result in miscarriage. That seems like an awfully high percentage for something we hear so little about. I get that people need privacy, and I respect that. But the less we talk about this stuff and how it hurts and how it isn't the fault of the mother, the father or the heavenly ghost, the worse it is for those who have to go through it thinking no one else understands how they feel. And it's more people than you think.

So hug a friend today. There is a good chance that they or someone they are close to have lost a pregnancy. Maybe even more than one.

9 comments:

cc said...

Sending you lots of virtual hugs.

velocibadgergirl said...

Oh, sweetie...I am so sorry for your loss, your losses. Your poor bruised heart! This is so damn unfair. I don't know if it will help, but a dear friend found solace in the community at http://www.glowinthewoods.com after very, very similar losses. For what it's worth, you and your little ones are in my heart.

Guyana-Gyal said...

If I were nearby, I'd give you lots of hugs. I'm sending them via ESP and hope they help you heal xxx.

On the Same Page said...

I would add post pardom to the list here too... that no body talks about. (because...what kind of mother is depressed when they have a beautiful baby in their arms)?? its really too bad so many suffer in silence on this one too.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry this happened to you guys, especially after what happened earlier this year. I think you are really brave for sharing and you likely have helped many people by sharing your story.

cadiz12 said...

thank you, guys. all the virtual (and real-life) love is helping a lot.

velocibadgergirl, from what I've seen of glow in the woods, it is really comforting. thanks.

post-partum is also a very real thing that no one talks about, definitely.

Shalini M. said...

This is just unfair. I'm so sorry.

Librarian Girl said...

I am so sorry, friend.

SupaCoo said...

I am so behind the times. However, I wanted to reach out and send love. I had this same thing happen to me right before getting pregnant with Connor. Hang in there.