Sunday, April 19, 2015

well, heck

I have never in my life so badly blown NaBloPoMo. I am so sorry.

Looking at my posts, there is a LOT of whining. Again, sorry.

Truly, this is one of the best (if not THE best) periods of my life, but you would never know it because of all the whining.

But this has also been one of the worst periods of my life because I don't know what the heck I am doing, or how to manage it and I feel like I'm always disappointing someone, if not everyone. It's hella hard not to care about that. I don't know how mommy bloggers have time to post. Because I barely have time to wash my hair. And sometimes I worry that I'll leave without rinsing.

It seems unfair that the lovely fleeting moments of early parenthood can be so thoroughly tainted by a constant hovering of a nervous breakdown.

Inevitably, I will look back on this time and hate myself for caring so much that the ironing didn't get done or that I could no longer keep up with coworkers who put in 70 hours a week.

Thank goodness we have cameras.

She makes everything I have to whine about seem not so bad. 



3 comments:

Becky said...

She is so stinking gorgeous. That is all. Except, don't be so hard on yourself about your time management. You're just one person, and you're present in your life. You're allowed to make the moment more important than the blog.

Anonymous said...

Dont be so hard on yourself..You can't work 70 hours a week anymore, you are a mom now and that is most important. Everything else can wait. Enjoy her as much as you can, cause it goes by way to fast!

Guyana-Gyal said...

She's so beautiful!

Don't iron clothes, get one of those steam things.

And let go of some of the things you want to do but aren't important.

[I had to do that to help look after biz here, help look after my grandma].