Saturday, September 10, 2005

conclusions you jump when you're in third grade

i went into the bathroom at the office and noticed that the seat was up in the stall. for a split second, i was transported back to the beige and concrete bathroom of my grade school where i had first seen a public commode just after a cleaning crew had been through. my thought: 'eiw. boys must have been in here because the seat is up. gross.' i checked; all of the stalls were like that.

i was so disgusted that i held it for the rest of the day.

this was odd because the men in my family have always been good at never leaving the seat up; i have no idea where i could have gotten such a theory, except maybe television. and seat up/down doesn't even affect me anyway, because i have been indoctrinated with the hovering technique since the day i hung up my huggies. nevertheless, it's odd what goes through your mind when nature calls.

22 comments:

Lia said...

sometimes that happens where i work, too. but i prefer to think that the cleaning staff has been very thorough, and that i'm the first one to use the bathroom. especially when all the seats are up - clearly, no one else has been in there since it was last cleaned - lucky me!

Lou (a.k.a. rainpuddles) said...

I remember thinking that.... ahhhh... the good ol' days!

X said...

I'm not too hot with the Spanish, so I went and translated the LODVG lyrics at Babel Fish. Needless to say, some of the poetry was lost in translation:

When the sea is not thirsty and the love knows to lose I sell my heart for darte better something

Thanks, Babel Fish. That's that cleared up.

---X

Ale said...

maybe the cleaning crew are male- and they DID use the facilities!

cadiz12 said...

those translation sites are such a trip, x. glad it could help.

i'm not a superwhiz myself, but i'm enamored by the language. i always took that line to mean something like 'perhaps (implied) when the sea isn't thirsty and love knows loss, i'll sell my heart to give you something better'

i guess it just doesn't have the same feel in english.

Gloria Glo said...

What a laugh! My mom and I were just talking about this phenom...why is it such a big deal? Makes no sense, really. Not that I like a toilet seat left up, but that's because it disgusts me to see pets drinking from that appliance.

omar said...

Yeah, this whole toilet seat up thing makes me mad. If it's up, put it down before you use the toilet! "I don't want to fall in the toilet because the seat's up." Well open your freakin' eyes! Look first! Then you won't fall in.

In residential bathrooms, I put the seat and lid down, just to stick it to the women who complain. Take that!

(and i'd like to note that the random string of text I have to type to make this comment includes the word "sex")

jazz said...

the hovering is good for the quads. it's excercise for me...

Du La Nuit said...

hovering is all good until you have to perform number 2.

Guyana-Gyal said...

That toilet seat up or down thing never bothered me.

A tip for gals: for public loos, if the seat is up, use the very tip of your shoe to bring it down :-D Takes some skill hahaha...

highcontrast said...

"hung up the huggies"!!!!!!!!!!!
aaaaahahahahahahahahahhahahahaa
i hope those huggies were the kind you launder. mental image of baby cadiz soiled skivvies hanging on the bedpost.

lucasjackson7 said...

LOL, the hovering technique.

man, i could remember the days of never wanting to use a public restroom as a kid.

really...who are these people who are carving obscenities into walls as they release and leaving toilet seats up? the guys bathroom is horrible because it always looks like a gang of angry vikings just walked out of the joint.

and why is everything wet? there are puddles of water/unknown substances everywhere. are these people animals and not know the science of the working toilet?

Gloria Glo said...

The hover technique...for some reason after living in a 3rd world country, I have eliminated all fear of public toilets. I think I've been exposed to every disease, and had most of them, so what's to fear in a kidney infection?

Ms Smack said...

In our office toilets (set of 4) we have what we call a phantom shitter, or affectionately in code, PS.

Believe it or not, but the toilet brushes get STOLEN, and consequently management arent replacing them.

So, this person, has NO AIM, or NO decency or something, and makes a mess of the bowls, repeatedly.

Its disgusting.

Syar said...

funny indeed. I've never really been phobic of public toilets and it cracks me up that I have two friends who absolutely refuse to use them despite their risking a possible burst bladder.

the up/down state of the seats never really bother me. its mostly the incorrect positions of conspicuous fluids that give me the creeps. that and girls who can't throw away their pads properly. gross.

Nadia said...

That's me! I'm one of Syar's two friends!

Hate hate hate hate HATE Malaysian public toilets.

Popeye said...

Well, I hope when you're done with it you leave it up for me.
My Mom and my sister helped place in the depths of my brain to always put the seat down. Now, I live by myself and still do it. I have been trained.

Syar said...

I wasn't gonna name any names, but glad you stepped up nad. you caved in once or twice though. not even you and your super bladder could hold it that long.

Modern Viking said...

I've always put the seat down. I don't know where I got that habit from. It's probably because toilets are gross and I don't want to look at them. In fact, it would be great if the whole toilet went down the drain when you flushed it and a new one appeared in its place.

Oh, and lucasjackson, for future reference, Vikings do not take out their anger on bathroom stalls. ;)

Ale said...

yo cadiz how about a new conclusion! :)

--i just love to pressure people!

Du La Nuit said...

YO WHERE YOU AT?

Ms Smack said...

but you know, even touching the toilet seat, without paper as a barrier is gross. I bet everyone touches it there, before and after his willy EW!!

AND imagine all the germs UNDER the seat!