Friday, September 02, 2005

time to cut off the supply

before a night on the town, a normal person might turn to her friend and say something like:

'you cannot, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, allow me to call xyz person AT ANY TIME after this moment in the evening. the SECOND i start to reminisce and/or begin to think that calling them is a good idea is exactly when you are to REMOVE my phone from sight and throw it into the nearest and deepest body of water you can find. got it?'

yeah, we've all been there.

however, i have a different kind of problem. you see, i got up at the bootycrack of dawn today, got on a train, walked 25 blocks with a heavy bag, ate lunch in the park and went to class. all this was before the start of my shift. so of course, 2 hours into it, i started to fade, and fast.

i reached for the cureall of the modern era: coffee.

as it turns out, that wasn't such a hot idea, as most of my starbucks fixes consist of steamed milk with a shot of something sweet, like almond. i save the big guns -- the mochas, the espressos, the macchiatos -- for special occasions like big late-night projects or ensuring i have enough energy not to fall asleep in my friend's birthday cake because i'm nocturnal.

today i figured i had an excuse because i have to leave for the airport at 6:30 and i get home from work after midnight and i still haven't done laundry. what i didn't bargain for is that a little cup of starbucks love can make me certifiably insane.

i twiddled. i fidgeted. i tapped. i bounced. i crossed the room at breakneck speed. i got a little bit of a stomachache that was only comforted by a box of animal crackers and a bottle of water. i panicked. i sweated. i made lists. i surfed the internet. but overall, i was completely consumed by an overwhelming sense of urgency. more than usual, that is.

so next time you happen to hear me say, 'dude, i really could use some caffeine,' i think you should stand in front of me, put your hands on my shoulders, look me straight in the eye and, in a firm and clear voice, yell at the top of your lungs, 'NO FREAKING WAY.'

believe me, i'll thank you for it later.

12 comments:

cadiz12 said...

it is 4:59 a.m. have i started packing?
um, no.

am i still here and looking at blogs?
hmm, yes.

am i worried?
not yet.

hasta martes, gente.

DCveR said...

huummm... nope, not me, sorry.
caffeine is one of my main fuels so there is no way I can tell anyone not to have it

jazz said...

i'm seeing you at dinner tonight!

ayayayayyayayayayay!!!!

Lia said...

hope your flight went okay.

i'm a big fan of caffeine, in small quantities and at the appropriate time. it's scary to think that anyone is so affected by it - for me, it's a psychological thing more than anything else. i know it's supposed to make me more alert, so i pretend to be more alert. but i never realized it actually works!

Jon said...

I’m no good with the caffeine either. I only get 5 or 6 hours of sleep a night anyway and that’s hard enough to do. I’m pretty sure that if I had too much, parts of my body would explode. Parts that I like. I’ll do what I can to stop you, but IL and CA are further apart than you might initially think… initially…

By the way… nice work on the packing… the judges are sure to give you high marks for that. I mean, not even the laundry was done!! Spectacular work. I may have underestimated the competition for Procrastinator of the Decade…

A said...

No see I'd let you get coffee and THEN I'll take it from you :>

Guyana-Gyal said...

But will you listen if you're stopped?

omar said...

I hate coffee, but have come to appreciate caffeine since becoming a parent.

kaiyareturns said...

maybe you are caffeine intolerant?... is there sucha thing?
for as long as i have known you, you have always had a unique timidness of your coffee intake...

Dom said...

Ack, i'd take anything to stop me falling asleep, bouncing off the walls is just the price you pay.

Lou (a.k.a. rainpuddles) said...

I've been told that an apple will keep you more awake than caffine. I haven't tried to prove that myself... I'm a caffine addict through and through. My main source is tea, then pepsi, then coffee.

piu piu said...

hello! i've never been here before. nice to meet u!