speed trap

this weekend, we went on a road trip. we took our bride-to-be, r, for a weekend of relaxation out in the country. with the crossing of state lines and having to be there by 8 a.m. sharp, we had to hit the road at 5 a.m. and even though i couldn't sleep a wink, we left at 5:40. I tried to make up for it by pushing my little black car beyond the speed of sound and passing every loser in the left lane who didn't get the hell out of my way.

i was feeling pretty good, we were going to barely make it in time. but unfortunately, about a mile and a half from our destination on a two-lane highway that cut through farm fields, we thought to pass the two cars in front of us. i hesitated a bit, but went ahead-- just as i caught sight of a cop sitting in a gravel parking lot up ahead. sure enough, the flashing bubbles went off as soon as i passed. i was cited for speeding (53 in a 30). his police-speech seemed well rehearsed; he didn't want to hear anything about how it was legally 55 where we started to pass, there wasn't a 'no passing' sign and that he stopped us about ten feet after the speed was reduced to 30. He simply told me i should feel real lucky he wasn't citing me for passing at an intersection (that dirt driveway counts as an intersection?) and took my license away. i can only get it back in the mail for $129. as i drove away in shame, the cop stopped up a block, got out of the squad car and adjusted a street sign that had been tilting slightly to the left.

needless to say, we arrived late. the first appointment we were scheduled for was a 50-minute massage that cost a pretty penny. but because we were late, it was cut to 30 minutes. i was trying very hard not to think about how that stupid cop not only got me for the price of the ticket, but also for $176 dollars' worth of our massages. i just couldn't relax. later, however, the woman giving r a pedicure told her that the town we were stopped in (Walworth, WI) has very little going on to keep the police busy. she said that her ten-year-old daughter was riding her bike there and came home with a ticket-- for failing to use an arm signal at a stop sign. so that jerk would have gotten me for something either way. after that, i was able to fully enjoy the steam room, sauna, hot tub and pool.

when i woke up this morning i found out that my license plate sticker had been expired. ha! you missed that one, you nitpicky bastard.