Monday, July 14, 2008

on a first date, it's probably not a good idea to say you get relationship advice from your sister

"Hey, I have a question. It's a girl question"


"So I've been talking to this girl for awhile and we both like soccer. A few days back I had said we should catch a game sometime, and today she emails me to ask if I'm watching the Portugal vs. Germany* match. "


"I said yeah, but I didn't know where and she said we should watch it at the bar for lunch, since she has to study all day. Is this a date?"

"You were there, what do you think?"

"I didn't think so, but Mark said 'Dude, you're going on a date!' So now I'm nervous."

"Well, you suggested hanging out for a game sometime and then she offered up a specific date and time. I'd say it's a date."

"Crap! So do I offer to pay or will that be weird?"

"Hang on, let me take a poll...My consultants say that you should offer, date or not. Why don't you just say 'I got this' when the check comes. It'll be casual, but nice."

"But what if the server asks at the beginning if it's one check or two?"

"Geez Louise, why are you THINKING SO MUCH? Just say one. You're going to screw it up if you overthink it. When is this non-date date, anyway?"

"I'm driving there now."

"Hang up with me and focus on driving!"

"Okay...So do you think I should pull her chair out for her?"

"Good Lord! I don't know about all that Southern Gentleman stuff. Guys don't really do that up here. I say don't. Keep it casual. Dude, it's not like you haven't been on a date in a decade or something."

"Well, it's been four years."

"You'll be fine. Let me know how it goes."

"Okay. Thanks."

[five minutes later]

"Oh man, I just screwed it all up."

"Why are you calling me? Aren't you supposed to be on your date?"

"Yeah, I got here and I wanted to send you a text asking if I should get a table or wait for her, and instead of you, I ACCIDENTALLY SENT IT TO HER."

"That's it. You are now banished to the Friend Zone. Maybe now you can actually enjoy the game?"

"Oh my god, are you serious? Now what do I do?!?"

"RELAX! And be yourself. But I'm warning you: if you call me from your date again, I'm going to tell Mom."

*Obviously I wrote this a while back and didn't have time to post. The non-date–date went well, he paid, she said she'd pay next time. I think they're still cool; I haven't heard any updates.


Lia said...

That's it! I'm telling Mom!

Guyana-Gyal said...

If a guy sent a text to me by mistake, but it had to do with him stressing about how to treat me, I'd be touched, that is so sweet.

Your threat to tell would that curb the texts and calls though?

cadiz12 said...

the last thing my brother wants right now is to be berated with questions about what my mom will likely hope is her future daughter-in-law. it's added pressure and the perfect thing i can say to get him to shut up.

Librarian Girl said...

This is why I check who I am texting a ZILLION TIMES before I send it. I am so paranoid about stuff like that.

Madelyn said...

why would the server ask if it's one check or two at the beginning of the meal? That would be ridiculous!

SupaCoo said...

Ok, so my first thought was "Germany vs. Portugal? Are they still playing soccer and somehow I've missed things?" Glad to know I'm not completely out of it.

And, yeah, the mixed text messages suck. Reminds me of a time I went to FORWARD a message from my boss to a friend and instead REPLIED. D'oh.

naechstehaltestelle said...

DOH! Haha, I love the little intricacies of dating. Always so stress inducing.

Anonymous said...

Germany lost to Spain in the European Finals.

Looks like your Mom is going to have to wait a while for a daughter-in-law...

Liz said...

I stumbled onto your blog this afternoon. This cracked me up! Hilarious. Texting can be so, so dangerous. :)

Jessi said...

Lmao!! Poor thing!