Thursday, August 14, 2008

he's already changed my name in his phone to "Bev"

"Hello, this is Duuuaaane at AARP, calling to confirm your registration."

"Har har, brother. You couldn't even say that without a smile in your voice."

"Happy Birthday, old lady."

"Thanks, pal."

"I think you need a new, elderly-ish name to mark your entrance into your twilight years."


"Yeah, something like Ethel. Nah, Ethel's the name of Tony's dog."

"Something like Gertrude?"

"Nah, that's a little too old. If your name is Gertrude, you might as well be dead. Something not too oldish, that still has spunk... I got it! Beverly! Still youthful, but yet—you're old. Yeah, BEVERLY!"

"Ugh, isn't the name of that chipmunk-looking girl on Seventh Heaven that you thought was hot?"

"She was cute when she got older!"

"I cannot believe you're going to call me that."

"Now, Beverly, aging is a part of life. I just want to remind you that shuffleboard starts at 3..."

"Why, I never—"

"And it's Lights Out promptly at 6:30!"

"Shut it. What are you doing today, pretending to go to the office?"

"Nah, I worked the weekend, so I have today and Friday off."

"Lucky! What are you going to do?"

"We're driving to Atlanta to see the Cubs game."

"Sounds fun. Well, if you're drinking, have one for me."

"I'm pretty sure they don't sell prune juice at Turner Field."

"I was talking about ALCOHOL."

"You know, they might have milk, but I'm going to need a microwave."


Noelle said...

My grandma's name was Gertrude, and she's been dead for over 20 years, so yeah, true that.

Lia said...

How about Ingaborg? I had a teacher with that name.

I love your brother.

Anonymous said...

Is this one of those birthdays with a 0 in it?

Mildred is my favorite old-fashioned name. A good Saxon name...

Madelyn said...

What is your middle name? Tell me NOW!

Anonymous said...

now .... the retirement home called and said u missed ur innagural nite of bingo calling. " sir these things happen , once u turn that age like beverly has everything goes down hill. Im amazed she has hung on so long." she has asshured me that ur turn will come again. Beverly, you can not galavant with whomever , whenever anymore you are from your 20's now. i have made some arrangements to have some new quilt patterns brought over along with all the seasons of golden girls on dvd , nothing like beautiful arthur to settle you down. take get some rest u play canasta tommorrow @ 4

Rick Hamrick said...

Dang...and I thought you were, like, young!

So, are you going to change your Bloggername to BevEleventy-two??

A friend turned 35, and she announced it by saying she was now old enough to be elected president. It was a sad moment when I had to point out that she was too smart for the job.