Thursday, September 07, 2006

listening out for a calling

truth is, i just happened onto this dungeon gig. when i was growing up, i thought i wanted to be a doctor. i even volunteered (candystriped dress and all) at a hospital before realizing it's definitely not the life for me. later i thought about art school, but my parents worried that i'd be an artist of the 'starving' kind and got into my head. i went to university and, after studying as little math as possible, found my way here. i like the job, but i'm still hoping to figure out what my *ideal* is so i can start getting there.

the other day i was on the phone with la mariachi. she plays in a band as a hobby, but is getting her teaching certificate. i asked her how she knew she wanted to be a violin teacher. she said it was what she was good at. and what made the violin better than, let's say, the oboe?

"math." she said.

at her grammar school in florida they only offered stringed instruments and if you took orchestra you got to miss math class a couple times a week. damn, if we had that system in my hometown, maybe i'd have actually practiced my cello and given yo yo ma a run for his money.

i still hope that one day i'll be walking down the street and be hit by the revelation of what my life's work ought to be. but i've resigned myself to accept the odds that i may never find it.

anybody want to buy a dusty cello?


omar said...

As the months tick down to my 30th birthday, I've been doing more and more thinking about how I'm running out of time to decide what I want to be when I grow up.

Not that 30 is OLD, it's just one of those milestones that causes lots of thinking.

Jon said...

I can’t say that 30 is haunting me just yet, although I am just a little over a year away from it, so we’ll see… But I can definitely relate to questioning how I’ve handled life up to this point. The early results have been a bit of a disappointment, but lately things have been looking up, so we’ll see how it all turns out. Just moments before my death, I’ll make it a point to comment here and let you know the final results. Unfortunately, unlike so many other folks, the date of my demise is shrouded in mystery, so I can’t say for sure when that comment will come, bet don’t worry, it will come.

Ale said...

cadiz i really envy you! the fact that you are still looking for an "ideal" is wonderful. I looked for my ideal job, i found it, i had it, and then i'VE HAD IT! it was disappointing-- now i dont believe an "ideal" exists- i think hoping to find the ideal was more fun then just not carring-

i'm not saying its not possible to like your job, i just think liking (loving) your job has nothing to do with it being your true ideal.

(my office hours are 10-1) thanks

cadiz12 said...


today my work hours, door-to-door, is 2-12. i had to get my lunch when i moved my car and will eat as i work.

sigh. at least i don't have to go to the dungeon tonight.

Syar said...

I'm more than halfway through my diploma course and next year the plan is that I'll fly off to australia to get a journalism degree.

but, see...I've been wondering a lot lately if journalism is for me. should I keep my options open and take mass comm? should I do the relatively unstable and not-many-obvious-career-option choice of media studies or sociology? or should I stick it out and keep to journalism? its all so confusing, and I'd hate to think that one wrong choice can waste a whole lot of money, a whole lot of time and set me down the wrong path.

talk about pressure.

so here's me...hoping that the revelation hits both of us soon. and I mean soon, you bloody Universe.

Ale said...

babe i meant my when i play psychologist/career counselor - my office ours are 10-1

dont worry i leave the house at 7am and come home at 7.30pm

jinius said...

i think whatever made you happy as a kid will most likely bring you joy as an adult. so now i need to find a job where playing dressup is acceptable.

X said...

I become a med student in 21 days, but all I've heard from everyone except my father is how difficult it is and how "I'll really find out what 'hard work' means" (a doctor's words).

I'm far too stubborn to let that put me off, though.


Guyana-Gyal said...

I don't understand this need for schools to shove algebra, trigosomething and geometry down students' throats. Unless you're going to definitely DO something with it in life, like physics, engineering etc.

I hate maths.