Wednesday, September 16, 2009

i don't have enough fingers and toes to count all the patients who come in with strokes or chest pains every day

"I just don't understand it! How did my cholesterol get all the way up to 285?"

"Could it be because you are addicted to CANDY?!?"

"Aw, c'mon, I never smoked and I barely drink; a little something sweet now and then is my only vice!"

"Now and then? Can I remind you of the cookies in your lunch bag, the popsicles and ice cream after dinner, and don't get me started on your daily peanut butter and jelly sandwich--there's one teaspoon of peanut butter and four of jelly."

"I only use a little bit of jelly! Just a tiny bit!"

"Blood work does not lie. Unless someone stuck an IV full of sugar into your arm while you were sleeping..."

"Don't exaggerate. Look, I'll just get this prescription the doctor gave me and you'll see how fast I bring my cholesterol back down to under 200."

"You can't just take a pill, you have to CHANGE YOUR HABITS. Peanut butter only every other day, just one cup of tea, stop eating so much bread, don't eat cashews by the can while you watch tv, and for God's sake stop with the candy. I've been telling you this stuff for the last ten years! Oh, and you're gonna start eating Cheerios every day."

"CHEERIOS? How about a cereal with a little more sugar?'

7 comments:

Cofo said...

Hm. So THAT'S how that works...

At least I like Cheerios.

Syar said...

I like Cheerios too! I have been known to snack on whole boxes.

My PB&J ratio is almost the reverse of the one you outlined. Does that mean I am safe from high cholesterol levels? I'm just going to say yes, because this jar of peanut butter isn't going to finish itself.

SupaCoo said...

Hilarious!

Noelle said...

Just put a little steak on that, it'll be fine.

Willowtree said...

I didnt know torture was prescribed for sugar addicts. I think Im going to have to go on the lam!
Cheerios? Eek

Guyana-Gyal said...

Denial, denial, it's like people with money problems or love problems, or any other problem and they refuse to believe or acknowledge it.

Madelyn said...

Crap, i'm addicted to PB&J, aaaaannnnddd candy. I checked my blood pressure today though. It was 124/77 . . . that's okay right?