Sunday, November 13, 2005

one thick layer

'they have a new baby next door.'

'yeah, i saw the big cardboard stork in their yard, but i couldn't read it. a girl, right?'

'mmmhmmm. they named her robyn rae.'

'cute. hey, how old is what's her name, anyway?'

'she's probably about three years younger than you. the husband is your age.'

'oh. interesting.'

'when i finish this blanket, i'm going to take it over there.'

'it's so soft, ma. and the pattern is beautiful. i'm sure they'll love it.'

'just wait, my grandchildren are going to have sooo much stuff. sigh. but only if i can still see by then...'

'what? you still have a good thirty years left to spoil children. i'm pretty sure i can come up with at least one bundle of joy for you in that time.'

'thirty years? na nana na, i'm not hanging around that long.'

'what nonsense. i CANNOT believe i'm even discussing this with you.'

'maybe it's just not in my fate to play with my grandchildren.'

'good GOD.'

'well, you're not going to wait too long after you get married, right?'

'huh?'

'maybe just one year. then it's time for kids.'

'dude, is there something here i don't know about? are you setting something up behind my back?'

'no, but you don't have a lot of time. you shouldn't really wait.'

'mother, let me put it to you this way: there's time to get to know someone, time to be engaged, and time to enjoy my husband. THEN maybe i'll think about children. that takes years. like maybe five.'

'what? FIVE YEARS? goodbye, cadiz.'

'you really are a professional, you know that?'

17 comments:

omar said...

I used to get this sort of subtle pressure too. It actually got way worse once I got married, because then all of the hecklers felt like they could see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Lia said...

That's how mothers are: they want you to get a little taste of what they went through with you while they're still around to watch. But we love 'em anyway.

Ale said...

oh CADIZ- I FEEL YA! :)

however i do have a comment in regards to "enjoy your husband" what's that all about!? i thought the sole reason to get married was preceisely TO HAVE kids... :)

(i AM serious)

ps. my granparents ONLY ask me how my married friends are doing... they never care to see what my SINGLE freinds are up to--

Lou (a.k.a. rainpuddles) said...

My grandma is the one who asks me every time I talk to her, if I've found a guy yet. She loves to pull guilt trips like, "I want to have a great-grandchild before I die". (She's been ill lately). I got a lecture when I called her yesterday about being an old maid... (I'm 21) but ya...

Guyana-Gyal said...

Hahaaaaaa. Oops. I shouldn't laugh. I'm just too glad that it ain't me alone getting SUBTLE HINTS like this from mothers.

Boy, I'm glad my siblings have produced. phew.

My neighbour is bugging her sons too for grandchildren. She can't see little ones without yearning.

Popeye said...

Oh, I hated that soooo much. My standard response to family became, "No, let's talk about your sex life first and then we can talk about mine." That seemed to take care of it.

Demosthenes said...

Careful. Potential grandmothers, not unlike wolverines and some species of crocodiles, get pretty nasty when backed into a corner with the prospect of dying before getting to spoil another generation.

lucasjackson7 said...

i feel like i am reading a transcript of the past five conversations with my mom.

don't fret, cadiz. enjoy life. be you.

my advice for handling your thanksgiving guests and their "life's plans" questions: be a smartass.

kaiyareturns said...

the way things are going... my 8 years younger bro in college is going to beat me to the punch. that brat.

cadiz... you know they started things up in 8th GRADE!?? AND she was the one that initiated???

crazy!

kaiyareturns said...

and i asked him ... so with her initiating... (basically taking the chase away) i asked him to pick ONE: Who likes who more... and after much deliberation he finally said... well i guess me. because i feel that i would sacrafice more for the relationship than her, (even though he doesnt actually feel any kind of inbalance in care for each other)...

so that's kind of an interesting thing to find out about the kid...

Andy said...

It's funny that, as a male, I don't get this kind of direct pressure to "go halves in a baby". Instead I get subtle hints in where my dad will play like a grandfather figure with friend's children, or my mum will comment on how this other couple have beautiful children...

I'm sure they'll kill for grandkids...

Modern Viking said...

We plan on waiting at least five years... Mainly because we want to save up some cash first. And because diapers are stinky.

Ale said...

yo kaiya how cute is your brother!

'ka said...

oh man... are all mothers the same???

my mom brought the same subject a few months ago since my siblings are married already/getting married. so, she asked when she'd have grandkids from me. i told her tht it won't b anytime soon. then she started bla bla bla...

goodness, so when she finished, i said to her, 'ok then. if you wanna a grandkid, i'll give u a grandkid, mom. BUT never ask who the father is, k? if you're ok, then you get a deal'....

she just said 'u know what? i'll leave u alone...'

Noelia said...

Well, by me it's a different story... When hubby and I told my parents we were getting married they got upset (unless if the reason was because I was pregnant). Now, when I tell my mum I have great (or bad) news, she always says, "You are not pregnant, are you?" (meaning, I hope not)

Both of my parents have a strange mean pleasure in adressing letters to me with my maiden name... (I've been married for 3 years now...)

sigh

Sarah said...

I hope she didn't mean "Goodbye, Cadiz" in a morbid sort of way (i.e. "Goodbye, Cadiz and goodbye, cruel world, for I shall never see my grandchildren"). I hope it was just in a "goodbye, Cadiz, I am going to the store to buy some milk" sort of way.

cadiz12 said...

sarah, if i hadn't been blinking so much in disbelief, i'm pretty sure i would have caught her throwing her head back, covering her face with the back of her hand. believe me, it was the stuff of a Jane Austen novel.