Thursday, January 11, 2007

the trouble with cadiz

it's been about three weeks since i finished up with dungeon duty, and i still can't peel myself out of bed at a decent hour. upon closer inspection, there are several contributing factors:

a) i have NEVER been able to get out of bed unless i was on the verge of being late for something.

b) i am able to awaken at the agreed-upon hour, only to convince myself in a half-asleep state that i no longer need to get out of bed then, can spare a few more minutes "resting my eyes" or that i was certifiably insane when the hour was agreed upon.

c) i am able to sleep for periods in excess of 10 hours or more at a time (mostly to make up for the times i have only slept four hours or fewer).

d) breaking a two-year nocturnal habit is a feat in itself.

e) i am easily distracted.

f) especially by the television

g) and the Internet

h) and the telephone

i) during my dungeon tenure i became highly accustomed to my independence:
1) sole control of the television with the dvr
2) only using the telephone when it was convenient for me
3) using the Internet whenever i damn well pleased (dialup)
4) not getting sucked into prime-time indian soap operas, which have the power to erase entire blocks of time from one's memory while moving the plot forward only an inch.
5) getting out of helping with the heavy-lifting cooking/cleaning

now this last reason and its facets are precisely why i hated working those hours. but i got used to them. i love my family and friends more than anything and wished i could spend more time with them. but i'll be honest: working in the dungeon changed me. i covet my alone time now. even if it's just to watch seven episodes of neat or mission: organization in a row and vicariously clean up my own life through those on television without actually doing anything in my own home but get an idea of how i'd want to do it should the opportunity present itself.

as one of the professional organizers says, "clutter is just a big pile of put-off decisions." and i think this all boils down to fear. right now, i'm working a few hours a week and the rest of my time is devoted to finding something better. but i'm terrified of either taking the first thing that comes along and finding out it's another type of dungeon or passing on something that could have been great. risk-taking is not my strong suit, because i tend to dwell on the mistakes. so i'm paralyzed and i'd rather be asleep than have to think about it.

i have been on vacation since my last day of dungeon. H came out for awhile and i'll be going to california tomorrow. but come monday, i'll hit this thing hardcore and turn my life right-side-up again.

if i can get out of bed, that is.

10 comments:

ML said...

I can see how you pretty much have to completely turn your life around. Dungeon life was not pretty, but you discovered another facet of yourself - you became independent and you liked being that way.

You'll adjust back pretty quickly. Good luck! :)

Lia said...

I hope it's possible to adjust back to what was before. I'll admit I'm going through a lot of what you described re: looking for something better and being afraid I might not recognize it in time.

Also, I suffer from similar getting-up problems. Especially (b). And I'm hoping that getting up early will change that facet of my personality, but somehow, in six months, it hasn't happened yet. I just keep getting up later and later. And I'm losing hope that it'll change.

Good luck! And if you figure out how to recognize the right thing, please share the secret!

beenzzz said...

I can relate to your list. It seems no matter what I do, I am on the verge of being late. This is a morning routine for me. I hope you can retain your previous schedule and not feel so out of sorts!!!

The Stormin Mormon said...

I have some serious issues with sleeping more than 6 hours, so I can't relate at all.

Jon said...

I think we all go through times of complete lack of motivation. I'm at that point with my job. Every single morning it gets harder and harder to get out of bed. I can only imagine what it would be like if I didn't have anywhere to go...

omar said...

It's gotta be a tough adjustment. Best of luck.

And while you're in Cali, tell Snoop Dogg I said "what's up."

highcontrast said...

i dont see it now, but i left you a comment earlier about using bfast foods you love as motivation to rouse from your slumber. mine was raisin bran. (yes, raisin bran)
anyway, it was wittier than this, dare i even say funny? you'll have to settle for this instead.
my apologies.

cadiz12 said...

blogger has been acting funny with comments lately, hc. you get a pass. for today.

Guyana-Gyal said...

What soaps, what soaps? Khasam Se, Mamta, Saat Phere? Jaab Love Hua? On Zee tv? My mother is HOOKED.

cadiz12 said...

oh, we've got the Star Plus set, which all seem to start with "k" such as "kumkum," "kasautii zindagi kay," "kahani ghar ghar ki," "kyunki saas bhi khabi bahu thi," "kesar," and a WHOLE bunch of others. i swear, it's like a DISEASE and i'm getting hooked, too!