Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Mourning period=one week

Anyone who has spent 2.5 minutes talking to me or 2.5 hours reading this blog knows that I get excited. Often, and vigorously. Sadly, a lot of the ruffled feathers is of the freaking-out-for-no-cause variety, which is a lot less interesting than the dirty kind that I'm sure a few of you immediately thought of after that second sentence. Sorry to disappoint.

So of course those who know me are expecting that I'd totally lose it over having to job hunt again only two months after I hung up that particular rifle and furry-earflapped plaid hat. Especially when I heard that H was also "restructured" out of his job. (Oh, I didn't tell you? Add one more member to the Laid-Off Club roster, Jon. Let's get T-shirts!). In all fairness, I did sort of royally flip out when I heard H's news. Wouldn't you? I mean, no one would bet on the chances that both of us would be laid off from our respective jobs in different fields within the same month, let alone any closer than that. Normally, this is when I would rant and rave about how terrible a situation I'm in and how everything in the world sort of sucks (which I still think), but for some reason, I have a sense of calm. Because H getting laid off right after I was is the single best thing that could have happened to me.

Stay with me now; I don't think that H losing his job is good. He doesn't even get to stay and finish stuff up for awhile like I do. And that puts a damper on the plan to save money and get ourselves into the same zip code. However, it also puts a damper on all the whining he'd have to hear from me about how much job hunting sucks and how there's nothing out there and how I'm going to have to move to Biloxi and join the circus so why am I wasting time on resumes and not focusing on regaining my flexibility? What face do I have to bitch about all that to someone who's going through the same thing?

But beyond all that, I really don't have that weighty sense of impending doom that I had at the beginning of this year when the dungeon began to run dry. The kind that made me not want to go out or even talk on the phone with my friends because that would take away precious time from my panicking about my impending doom while pretending to find something to stop it. Perhaps it's different because of the small cushion I have until the checks stop coming. Maybe it's because all my coworkers can commisserate and share contacts. I don't know. But I've got this deadly sense of calm and assurance that things will be okay because I gd said it's going to be, dammit. And I'm going to get that out in writing before the doubt creeps in and asphyxiates it like a poisonous gas.

12 comments:

Cissy Strutt said...

I like the sound of your small cushion. They can be very comforting. What colour is yours?

Anonymous said...

Your calm comes from confidence. What skill is more valuable than surviving an income disruption? Here is another chance to improve on it.

jinius said...

aw man i cant believe they gave you the news after your birthday lunch! great timing!

im gonna stick to the old adage that everything happens for a reason. the universe happens to unveil its plans at the weirdest moments

ML said...

Yes, things will be ok.

Jon said...

I'll start working on the t-shirts. Of course, you know that means there will be some bedazzling involved, right?

Alexandra said...

RIGHT ON CADIZ!!!! RIGHT ON that calm is the MOJO!!!!! the mojo carries you magically into good waters!

omar said...

I don't want to join the club, but is there any chance I could get one of the bedazzled t-shirts?

Librarian Girl said...

Calmness is good. It's like you're saying fuck off to the universe, but trusting that the universe still loves you. It's so rock star.

Lia said...

You and H, at the same time - strikes me as a very good time to think about getting into the same zip code. Try looking for those very rare jobs where they help with relocation.

Beenzzz said...

If you feel things will be ok, then it will be. Keep positive and everything will work out!

cadiz12 said...

cissy: the cushion? of course, it's green!

Anon: i hope this confidence isn't something that withers away the closer i get to D-Day.

jinius: i'm hoping there's a reason, and that it's a damn good one.

omar: you just let jon know which colors work best for you and i'm sure he can get that for you straightaway. i hope you'd never have to join the club.

ml: hope so.

jon: perhaps all this talk of bedazzling will spur a career change since you didn't even like your other job?

Alexandra: mojo! i could use a little more mojo right now. i'm going to study the zen of sunnyallthetime for inspiration.

librarian girl: well, i don't know how long i'll wait around for the payoff, but i can totally swing la vida loca until then.

lia: believe me, i'm looking! and they are VERY rare. hell, good ones in general are rare.

beenzzz: thanks! i hope i can.

Guyana-Gyal said...

Join the circus Cadiz, swing and sing :-D