Tuesday, January 15, 2008

someone tell the boogeyman to leave me alone

Last night I fell asleep on the couch at 11, transferred to my bedroom at 11:45 and flew out of bed at 3 am as though my footie pajamas were on fire because even though the clock said 3:07, my brain read it as 8:07 and I thought I had way overslept, missed the only bus I can get (which is probably going to be canceled anyway) and wouldn't make it to a Very Important work day.

As I calmed myself down and lay down again, I realized that this is the fifth or sixth in a series of bad dreams that have shaken me awake in the last few weeks, including one where I was in an underwater knife fight with some broad with long red hair that was flowing around so much that I couldn't see well enough to get a good shot at her.

That's not the half of it. I know the last thing anyone wants to read about is somebody else's messed up nightmares, but mine run like feature-length black and white movies. Maybe one day I'll sit down and write about that time when I was this badass cop named Keshia who could actually pull off the running-roll-onto-the-floor-while-shooting move and caught the badguys or that other time when I was a 56-year-old white man contemplating suicide because I had shot my Throw-Mama-From-the-Train (I think it was that same actress, too) mother and the feds were coming for me. But those are stories for another time.

For today, I am TIRED. Normally I sleep like a brick—it practically takes a wrecking ball to dislodge me from bed, and with a few solid hits, at that. Waking up multiple times a night with nobody to blame that doesn't live inside my head makes having to actually wake up so much more agonizing when I realize it's the real deal.

So I'm going to need this to stop. Like now. 

13 comments:

Teej said...

I need to know just two things:

1. Do you really have footie pajamas?

2. If so, WHERE DID YOU GET THEM?

(I mean, of COURSE I want you to sleep better. But I need to know about the footies.)

cadiz12 said...

oh how i WISH i still had real footie pajamas; those used to make me so happy as a kid. i believe you can buy them at department stores, but they're usually two-piece and made for bigger-than-average children.

the rest of us who are taller than bigger-than-average children must pretend by tucking our pajamas into our socks. which is what i do. and i call them footie-pajamas. i guess that's misleading. i apologize.

Alexandra said...

no pj's you should sleep neakid so ur skin can breathe giiirl! then you wont have no bad dreams! make sure you air out your room each day too-

cadiz12 said...

i don't know if that's such a good idea, ale. you know i talk in my sleep--sometimes i'm yelling and the roommates come running.

that potential scenario is one i'd rather not think about.

SupaCoo said...

Oddly enough, I've woken myself up the last two nights in a row with "OHMYGOD-WHAT-TIME-IS-IT-I'M-LATE" thoughts, only to realize that it's like 12:01 and I'm a freak.

Regarding the sleep talking? I've actually changed clothes in my sleep. It's the weirdest dammed thing.

Lia said...

I actually like waking up in the middle of the night, because it's so pleasant to be able to go back to sleep. I don't wake up on purpose, but a couple of nights ago, I woke up every hour, starting at 3 am. While it was disappointing when I finally had to get out of bed (and maybe all that going-back-to-sleep is why I've been late to work so often recently), it wasn't as bad as it sometimes is because I had gotten to "snooze" like five times!

jinius said...

omg the same thing happened to me on sunday! only i thought it was monday morning and freaked out that i was late for work. basically, my dear, i think this means you are stressed out. maybe a hot bath will ease your sleepy time?

naechstehaltestelle said...

I get super annoyed in my sleep if I realize my socks are still on. That being said, I think some people might not mind the footie pajama feel.

http://www.jumpinjammerz.com/

omar said...

I've been having weird dreams lately myself, but no underwater knife fights. No fair, your nightmares are cooler than mine!

WORDofRYE said...

haha, footie-pajamas! Awesome!

Oh, but sorry about your bad dreams. :)

cadiz12 said...

jumpin' jammerz!

Sphincter said...

I hate those "OMG, gonna be late!" wake-ups!

Jon said...

I don't know if I've said this yet, but being unemployed means never having to freak out that you're late for work. Just something to think about...