Tuesday, April 19, 2005

ah, sweet dungeon

okay, something has gone terribly awry in the universe.

i'd like to just say that if i die tomorrow, please please please remember me for the cranky biotch that i usually am, not the positive freak of nature that i've been acting like today.

but because that is the case, tonight you'll have the pleasure of seeing the softer side of cadiz. hopefully it's making a one-night-only appearance.

* i'm in the dungeon tonight. and it feels refreshing.

* i was driving into work, stuck in traffic, and all i did was turn up the radio and sing more energetically. i ignored mr. red dodge pickup, who leaned out his window to laugh at me and i was proud; my open windows gave people the rare chance to see how well i mimic nelly furtado's wacky stylings. granted, i can never seem to remember if 'soul' or 'home' comes first in 'i'm like a bird,' but today i wasn't even embarrassed that i was yelling out 'i don't know where my hole is' like i usually am.

*for once i wasn't really freaking out about being late, and it turns out there was no line into the parking lot and i walked in right at 6:01. that NEVER happens.

* i didn't cringe when i saw the guy who usually stops to tell me that i've done something wrong. (no news is definitely good news.) i said what's up cheerily and then was very excited that his hellohowareyou back wasn't followed by, 'i've been meaning to talk to you about those reports...'

* there's a flowering tree outside the dungeon door. it smells glorious, and it was just breezy enough tonight that when i caught the mixture of it with the choco-factory aroma, i nearly fainted. i literally stopped to smell the flowers.

* i didn't get a chance to eat my salad during the early part of the shift, but i'm just happy i remembered to leave the dressing off so i won't need a spoon when i finally get around to it.

* my brother called to read me a recommendation someone gave him. 'glowing' would be a sad understatement, and i got a little misty.

* i got to wear this jacket i bought last fall for the first time. and i'm so happy i went with the olive corduroy instead of the dark jean, because i've seen a lot of those out there these days. (i like to pretend i'm original.) i love when i buy stuff and then slowly phase it in. it's like having new clothes all the time. i relished in this for about 2.5 minutes.

but you know, as i'm writing this, the fear is starting to sneak up my spine. like when you open your eyes before the alarm, you feel well rested and hop out of bed with a smile on your face? how you get a sense of dread because it is just too weird that you haven't hit the snooze button even ONCE; that it's going to be the day from hell because there is no way that something normal can come from this kind of psychotic beginning? i'm starting to feel like that.


something horrible is going to happen. tomorrow i'm going to come into work and the keycard will have been magically deactivated -- a signal of my termination. i'm going to eat that salad and get food poisoning and be puking for the next 36 hours. i'll get gum stuck in my hair and then have to cut it all off in chunks. my car will have a flat and i'll be hit by an errant semi. dammit, i didn't even follow up and join AAA. shit.

plus, my left eyelid is twitching. that's NEVER a good sign.

aaaaaaaaah, that's much better. i was starting to get a little creeped out.


Jon said...

That’s weird, I had you pegged as the most optimistic person on the face of not only this planet, but also Mars and Jupiter… and I was almost done polling Venus and Saturn and your numbers were looking solid there too. I guess I’ll have to go recalculate my findings… I think this means that Hans Frankensdadt is officially the most optimistic person out there, but that guys super annoying… This one time, he broke his leg, and he was all, “It’s a good thing I broke my leg, otherwise I never would have learned how to use crutches!” (It’s funny because you’d think with a name like Hans Frankensdadt he’d have more of an accent, but no, he’s from Ohio…)

jazz said...

ohhhh....i hated to get to the end. i was basking in the lovliness with you! why'd it have to end?!

kaiyareturns said...

sounds like someone is in love

Ale said...

have you been smoking the rocks i sent you!!?? good girl!

its spring you can't fight Primavera!! miaaauuu

cadiz12 said...

sorry, kaiya. i wish.

but i think i am definitely on a high from dancing all weekend. it's been about 4 months since i've been able to properly get my pop on and i bumped into some people who were as into it as i was.

i had thought all i was losing by giving up my class for this work schedule was muscle tone. who knew that pretending to breakdance is a key part of my emotional fulfillment, too?

(but to be honest, i didn't mind being sweated just a little bit.)