Monday, June 20, 2005

SLANG, du-doh-da, du-doh-da, let the boys be boys

yeah, so i pepper my speech with a little slang.

at first it was natural, just here and there when it was appropriate. but years ago during my first job out of school, when i said something even remotely trendy, my immediate coworkers acted like it was such a big deal. they usually accompanied that with a 'huh?' face. so i took it upon myself to incorporate every single piece of ridiculous pop culture into my everyday professional speech. (i worked in a satellite office and wouldn't usually do this in front of the boss, but after awhile, i didn't even care anymore.) i've since laid off quite a bit because i think i made a dent.

the goal was to enable them not flinch in front of wrenchingly obvious ones like, 'ice' and 'the crib', but also have the ability to recognize slightly more nuanced words like, 'ganked,' 'jiggawhat,' and 'bounce.' i'm sure i was way underqualified (this is another arena where lack of cable hurts), but i considered it a noble cause.

i didn't think i was making any headway and that these women with book clubs and small children were simply tuning me out, but one day a sheltered coworker turns around, leaned over the cubicle partition and says to me with a completely straight face:

'dude, that report got completely jacked. i think ole boy is going to have a coronary!'

all i could say in response?

'fo shizzle.'


Jon said...

Homogenizing the world one coworker at a time. That is noble.

You know what movie that reminds me of? I could just tell you, but it’s more fun to give you clues and have you guess. First clue… this is admittedly a big clue and if you don’t get it quickly, I’ll probably be disappointed… “I want my 2 dollars.” “Sorry man, but my mom’s not here and I don’t have a dime.” “I didn’t ask for a dime, I want my 2 dollars.”

omar said...

Really, there was no other appropriate response to what your coworker said. Nice work!

jon - even I can guess the movie based on that hint.

Ale said...

that's adorable dear-
i deal with lots of europeans and its so funny to hear them use slang - cus they think that's what we're all about here in NY- especially the german collegues-- its so COOLe Jaaah- very COOLe

Jon said...

Well, I think it’s a pretty obvious clue, but I say that little exchange all the time and no one knows what I’m talking about. I’m not very impressed by the people I work with sometimes… especially when I have to walk over to their computer and show them how to resize the IE window… I cry on the outside and die a little bit on the inside…

cadiz12 said...

don't be disappointed. i actually have seen that movie. in fact, it was the very first one i recall renting. i think of it sometimes when i reach for the q-tips in the morning.

and as for the homogenizing, i initially got tired of being looked upon as a circus freak. but after i saw how much they enjoyed it, we all just played along. those were good times. and believe me, it went both ways. i learned a WHOLE lot about potty training.

omar said...

BTW, your post title has had me "singing" Onyx songs all day. I didn't even realize why until just now.

X said...

I thought Onyx were hard until I heard that Sticky caught a beatdown on some celebrity boxing TV show in 'Merica land. Is this true?


cadiz12 said...

'Slam' is by far one of the catchiest-know-it-without-knowing-the-words songs ever.

and it must be sang with great emphasis. i knew i'd get somebody.

cadiz12 said...

oh X, you got me curious.

i found a very interesting interview on google. he's actually attractive in a tyson beckford kind of way and has been pretty busy lately.

this is what he said about the match:

T.JONES: “You had a boxing match on Mtv against Simon Woodstock… did you really think it was unfairly judged?”

STICKY FINGAZ: “I ain’t hit the mat, you know? I never hit the mat in my life! I’m no boxer and the dude that I was fighting was an amateur boxer. I’m just from the streets. But Ananda Lewis was holding me down! (laughs) Word! That was crazy! That was fun. I’d do it again! Actually, I wanna do it again! Rematch! I need somebody bigger next time though. Simon Woodstock, or whatever his name is… he’s not big enough anymore.”


jazz said...

girl, you def. got some street cred. that's all i gotta say.. ;)

Jon said...

You have no idea how happy I am that somewhere in this world, there exist people who actually know that movie. One of my absolute favorites from the 80’s. And maybe I didn’t list it under favorite movies in my profile and that is nothing short of a horrific travesty on my part. The only way I can redeem myself is to go drag race some Chinese delivery guys that only speak English like Howard Cossell.