Saturday, January 21, 2006

innocence lost

'yeah, i went out and bought 'Wedding Crashers.' '

'really? you liked it that much, eh? did you watch it already?'

'yeah, with mom.'

'you made OUR MOTHER watch that dirty-ass movie?'

'yeah, it was the 'uncorked' version, too. don't worry, i fast-forwarded all the bad parts.'

'so you showed her about 10 minutes of it, then?'

'pretty much. yeah, you know that one part where they're in the church and vince vaughn tells owen wilson about how he got 'eye-f*cked' by some girl?'

'OH MY GOD.'

'yeah, i didn't see that one coming quick enough and mom was like, 'what does that mean?'

'you're going to hell.'

14 comments:

lucasjackson7 said...

that's hilarious. you're bro has good standing with who he is as a person. and it seems that you're mom keeps getting cooler with each post. and yet, my mother keeps getting drunker with each post. there must be some causation/correlation.

oh and chris walken for president!

Ale said...

my goodness, i wouldn't even show this movie to MYSELF let alone my MOTHER! yeah- what your brother said--

Chelle said...

Wedding Crashers is a HILARIOUS movie!! and umm....I watched it with my 18 yr old daughter. Make me a bad mom? lol But it shocked me (not sure why) when she knew the meaning behind some of the sexual references that were made!! EEK!! Guess she has my dirty mind.....oh Lord! lol

Guyana-Gyal said...

What is it about boys and their ma?

But anyway, always keep your finger on the remote control to fast fwd, pause, stop, etc. LOL.

Heh, I bet Ale saw the movie in secret.

girlspit said...

Oh dear. That's almost as bad as when my stepmother insisted I go with her to see the Chip N Dales. Somehow I weasled out of it, but my stepbrother's wife had to go. She still has nightmares.

Angel07 said...

I dug on wedding crashers, but those who have seen it after the hype aren't really impressed!

On a different note, had to let Cadiz know what we specially requested "Dangerous on the Dancefloor" on Friday night in honor of you!! Go Rita! :)

Demosthenes said...

Well did you explain it to her? Don't leave your ma hanging. I try to never, ever watch movies like that with my parents.

omar said...

Before the underwear incident, this would have surprised me. But now I already know your moms is cool. She knows what that whole eye f'd thing means, she just wanted to see what your bro would do.

Come to think of it, you never said which player here was you. I think it was YOU who made your mom watch Wedding Crashers, uncorked.

cadiz12 said...

my mother is really cool. but i think part of it is that there's a lot of slang she just doesn't know. a couple years ago, she came home from work and asked us what 'mooning' was. seriously.

the movie wasn't half bad; i just wouldn't want to watch it with anyone i'm genetically linked to.

i'll bet ale owns it!

chippendales with the M.I.L? that doesn't sound like fun.

i think hype kills everything. oh MAN! i would have been there, too, if it weren't for the freaking ice storm that night! you guys know how i love that song.

you never know, it always could have been me...

a typical thing for my brother to say is, 'don't worry about it, ma.' i'm pretty sure she'd know what it was. i'm cringing at what it must have been like during the beginning when they show the montage of conquests...

Psychic Pimp said...

I watched 40 Year Old Virgin with my mom……twice. At the theater and at home….on Christmas Eve no less. She laughed her a$$ off both times.

Roxtar said...

Moms are hilarious! The other night my fiancee said something about wrestling and getting his face pushed into another guy's choda. Which caused an eruption of laughter around the table until his mom said,"hey guys, what does that mean? What's a choda?" And then I fell off my chair laughing as my fiancee tried to explain it wihtout being gross! then she didn't know what to say so she goes, " Well, I know what a scrotum is!"

Oh God...the innocence...

kaiyareturns said...

i was so upset when my brother and dad were watching ace ventura... OMG the scene where he is jacking off or looks like he is in the shadow or whatever... MY GOD i was like WHAT are you letting him WATCH????

see my parents did not sensor his viewing at ALL. my bro was obsessed wtih Bevis and Butthead and of all the crap he was allowed to watch, he actually turned out a really decent guy.

So really now im confused.

kaiyareturns said...

Also in some movie where some girl was gangraped, my mom asks me, "What is a diaphram?"

of course i was all "well its where you draw your breath from to sing" etc...

and she's like no, that doesn't make sense in context...

so i went and found our medical dictionary, opened it to the contraceptives portion and aggressively pointed at the "diaphram" diagram. UGH. embarrasing!

and btw i think the whole fast forwarding thing is WAY Too embarrassing. cus you're really acknowledging the fact that something bad is there. I always executed the "damn i'm thirsty for a drink" routine everytime something comes up.. and it works cus then later on its "damn i need to pee"

cadiz12 said...

pimp, your mom has always been down; i'm not the least bit surprised.

good god, is that how parents learn things these days? when did it switch to it being us who are teaching them things?

yeah, i usually go with the 'uh, anyone want somethign to drink?' method myself.