Monday, January 16, 2006

this stuff makes me cringe

when your best friend, who is famous for her thoughtful, lengthy holiday card missives, tries to pass off a picture of her and her husband as a christmas card without even addressing you.

when your coworker invites the person hired to replace you to your going away party.

when you snap whenever spoken to and want to continue to be nocturnal because then you can have free reign of the remote control.

when something goes sorta right, but then something goes really wrong and you are sad and mad and hope to be glad, but you can't tell anyone around and you have no minutes so you can't call anyone either.

when you've been waiting 11 months to take the one week you get off a year, and see that they've forgotten they granted it and scheduled you anyway.

having to go home and go back to work

pumpkin guts in the garbage disposal that turn the dinner you had planned into in-n-out and a movie

when one of your best friends calls you sobbing and you're 2,000 miles away. again. timing really freaking sucks.

when you're going out to dinner with your boyfriend, his two sisters and the one sister's boyfriend, and you're looking to the other outsider to give you a little backup in keeping the conversation flowing and he says nothing for FORTY-FIVE MINUTES AT A TIME. so you have to resort to talking about the job that you're really starting to loathe. sigh.

finding out that the competition got a permanent leg up on you. then having to admit to yourself that you probably didn't put as forth as much effort as was needed to really be a contender. and then you wonder why. and then you continue to struggle to care.

when your brother calls from teh emergency room. again

feeling as if you're a hamster in a wheel-- no matter how good your cardiovascular health is, you're not actually getting anywhere

coming back to reality

feeling 'off'

having no motivation whatsoever, even when your rent is on the line.

hoping that a feeling will get you through the next five months.

being late for something he's been looking forward to for months.

working more than 40 hours a week (not including the 15 hours for commuting) and not getting a lunch break. and then having to see others complain about 55 minutes not being enough to shop with during their break.

people who are MORONS. people who think "fox news is still decent" despite the fact that they blatantly censor anything that is remotely critical of the government because the guy who runs it is related to the president. and thinking that getting the news should make you "feel at ease." why don't you pick up a Nancy Drew book with a nice tidy ending if you want that, because in reality, a WHOLE BUNCH OF PEOPLE ARE DYING and we'd better wake up and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

people who go on and on about how bad the media is on their blogs without for one SECOND taking the time to think about what the hell it TAKES to report a fair story, newspaper or otherwise, and realize that at the end of the day EVERYONE is human and that there is no other profession in this world that gets as much crap blamed on them as the media. give up your life, happiness, time, family. get doors slammed in your face, phones hung up on you, people yell at you all because you think that something that you're working so hard for might just HELP SOMEBODY or shed light on some injustice.

when you become terrified your life is on track to resemble a tv sitcom, but instead of shrugging your shoulders with a smile at the foibles of your partner, you fear you will accidentally strangle him in rage because you're not as good as the people on tv.

stupid shoes that make you wish your feet could be temporarily amputated to take a break from the pain

when the heat index is 115 degrees and you're wearing triple-ply satin

trying to hold up/adjust/not to trip on a cathedral train

missing exits

getting people together for pictures; like herding drunken cats

wedding speeches scheduled for the end of the night

when no one will dance and you realize the videographer has just captured you, solo on the floor for the last 1/2 hour because the guests are so lame

when the airconditioning breaks down

when the best man can't keep his hands to himself

when the only thing that's open is mcdonalds

removing liquid eyeliner

missing exits. again.

flight delays


commenters who only leave smiley faces. that's ALL you could think of to say? or is it just a quick and easy cut-and-paste ploy to attract more traffic to your site? eiw.

when someone you've thought you had a lot in common with for decades insinuates, in no uncertain terms, that due to the fact that you don't get up an hour early every day to paint your face like a clown somehow makes you an alien with whom it is embarrassing to be seen in public.

when someone i love is sad and hurting and i can't do a single thing about it

when annoying memories come up for no reason whatsoever

having told everyone you know about your weekend plans, only to scrap said itinerary to sleep in and then feeling the need to come up with an elaborate excuse for why you didn't do what you'd spent the last 2 weeks prattling on about ad nauseam

when several people close to you call at precisely the time when they know very well that you are unable to take their calls

creepy ghost towns

having to follow someone going considerably below the speed limit for more than ten miles with no outlet for passing their sorry caboose

when your coworker likens a phrase used at your weekly office meeting to the final scene in 'requiem for a dream' and you're doing your best to erase the connection that has now been burned upon your retinas and will force you to stifle uncontrollable nervous laughter whenever you hear your boss mention the 'end-to-end project' again.

finally grasping just how addicted you are to something/one, when you look at the clock for the fiftieth time today and realize you have only gone without it/them for 22 hours. and it's killing you.

complex crochet baby blanket patterns that boggle your mind but look so damn precious.

when you realize you can't stand your new phone because you're a crotchety old lady who can't get used to new technology

when you're not quite slick enough to get to the check before your companions, who headed the waiter off at the pass

when you're working on no sleep and trying to carry too many things at once and then when your phone falls to its death on the concrete steps, you are too stunned to comprehend it.

people who aren't considerate to the fact that them waking you up to tell you something that can wait can seriously mess up your day.

when chocolate cake doesn't even make you feel better.

going to a place where everyone else makes you feel like an animal at the zoo.

the fact that a simple three-letter word can make you want to cry. even after all this time.

waffling. and being aware of it.

when you are convinced some actor looks just like someone you know, but can't get anyone to agree more than a pitiful, 'um, maybe a little from the side...?'

having your heart set on lasagna, but then realizing it's going to be more than 2 hours before its done

coming up with a great birthday gift idea only to get a call from the recipient, who's at the store buying it for herself.

not being in tune enough to know what you want, not being strong enough to try and find out and resenting the people who care enough to tell it to you straight up

when your gd left eyelid will not, for the love of heaven, stop TWITCHING

being the one to tell someone you care about something that hurts them now but hopefully will make them stronger for later. but wanting to vomit anyway because it sickens you so much even though it's the truth.

hanging out with the old crew and being mad at the world for being unable to be able to dance with them every week because you have to work to pay the bills.

having stayed up all night for four nights and not being able to sleep

when every POSSIBLE thing that can go wrong does, standing in the way of your completing a very simple task and turning it into the worst nightmare of the last five years

spending the whole day kicking yourself for putting off something yesterday that you're now forced to do today. sigh.

when you know it is IMPERATIVE you do something, and you sit down, materials in hand and are physically unable to begin. maybe out of fear of failure, maybe out of laziness, but somehow you manage to come up with an excuse that makes lying in your bed and finishing a gripping novel instead somehow okay.

realizing you'd better bring your A game more than ever, b/c there are several dozen people you need to watch out for

not being sure. about anything. not having any one stable thing to hold onto.

deliverypeople who promise 'same-day service' and take 5 days to get you your stuff

coming to the conclusion that somehow, it really is your fault that this keeps happening

dragging yourself to the city only to get there and wait on everyone else

being seated right next to the door at a busy restaurant when it's 0 degrees and blustery outside

finding out someone who treated you like crap is treating someone else like a queen

not realizing how sad you are until starting to cry when the parking lot guy is just trying to do his job

still wanting to believe even though every bullshit-detecting alarm in your gut is going off

the 'i told you so' tone even without the 'i told you so' words

waking up early

really bad a.m. traffic

missing planes

not being able to shower after traveling

making my poor dad get out of bed to come get me at work at 3 a.m. because i didn't have time to get my own car

feeling like a chump

counting the seconds till you can leave work

running out of cough drops

realizing you've contibuted to the wave of influenza sweeping across the office like a plague when the person who sits next to you -- the only one who had managed to avoid it -- goes home sick.

not being able to make up my mind

people who cannot grasp the concept of driving in the rain

getting sick

having to get up at 3:30 a.m. to drive through dense fog to sit in a dungeon.

waking up in a fantastic mood, telling everyone you know that because you woke up in a great mood something horrible is going to happen in the hopes that if you say that, said horrible thing won't happen, only to have horrible things happen. but at least you know you were right.

hauling your ass out of bed extra early to make sure you're on time, forgetting it's Martin Luther King, Jr. Day and no one's at work but you so that there isn't much traffic and even less work to do

only having one day off for a couple weeks, and not even being able to blame anyone else but myself for volunteering

showing up to a party, all proud of your fuzzy pink off-the-shoulder sweater, only to see somebody else with the same one in purple

stupid league bowling, which forces 8 cars to trek into the city in mad traffic THE ONE TIME we actually get to hang out anywhere close to my hood, just to get to the only alley that has open bowling on a saturday night

having to hit snooze on your biological clock every ten minutes while helping your friend's kid bowl on the bumper lanes

wracking your brain for the perfect gift for a 23-28-year-old stylish woman and only having 2 hours before work to find it.

boys in the underwear store

people not telling you that you've messed up until after it's way too late to do anything to fix it

the end of spanish class :(

not making it to the airport till 15 minutes before a flight

not having enough hours in the day to fully take advantage of 900 channels and ON DEMAND cable

MTV en espanol playing crap, most of which is in English, on the one weekend when you can actually watch it

not locating the potato peeler until after dicing 2 big potatoes into tiny pieces

wasting precious new year's festivity time trolling the city FOR FREAKING PARKING and having to wish loved ones in a driveway with the hazards on, only to spend ANOTHER 45 minutes after getting back to the homestead. and all this was well before the year had begun. here's hoping that 2006 has a better parking forecast.

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