Wednesday, April 19, 2006

The Force

cc's seven-year-old, b, has the most beautiful imagination. it's right up there with the human half of 'Calvin and Hobbes.' and there's nothing b loves more than a character with superpowers. every time i came to visit last year, he'd put on his spiderman costume and run around saving people. even without it, he'd stop midstride in a wide-footed stance, aim his wrist at you, scrunch up his face and say 'kssh! ksssh!' as the imaginary web made it impossible for you to move.

every time i check in with him, b is emulating a new hero (i think the character of the week is king kong right now), but no matter how many may come and go, it seems the boy has a special place in his heart for The Force. perhaps it's because his father was a fan, or maybe because that sort of thing is appealing no matter what decade you were born in.

his father, P, once told me a story about a saturday afternoon when cc was at dance practice. B's dad was in the mood for a nap and the little superhero decided it was a fine time to polish off a sizeable chunk of the Frango Mints P had said were off limits because he was going to use them to make a mintchocolate cheesecake that evening. later, when confronted by his parents with the chocolatey evidence smeared along the edges of his mouth, b says so innocently that it had to be the truth: 'i know i shouldn't have done it. but daddy, the dark side was too strong.'

B must have really taken to heart his father's detailed speech about always using The Force whenever he felt the dark side taking over. Because not too long after that incident, they had me and my friend over to the house for dinner. as we went to ring the buzzer downstairs, b was already there, sitting on the stairs in a huff. i came into the foyer to greet him and he yelled, 'i thought i was your boyfriend!'

i said the only reason i brought this guy was because last time i was over, cc asked b if i was his girlfriend and he had said no, Amy the third-grader is his girlfriend. after a bit of cajoling that he is indeed my number one man, b seemed to be all right. (to be honest, i was a little miffed myself about being replaced by a younger model, but you've gotta give the kid props for going after Amy, a woman two years his senior who is reputed for taking charge of the playground.)

dinner went pretty well for the most part, but b wanted to show me all the cool stuff he'd gotten for christmas. i was impressed with his new darth vader voice changer helmet. he came into the dining room with it on, looking a little like rick moranis in 'spaceballs' because the helmet was so huge on his tiny little frame. simulating vader's heavy, even breathing, he raised his hand in the air and said something i didn't quite catch. it was very impressive. and i'm pretty sure he would have launched into the full light saber duel reenactment if he hadn't been summoned for bed. i love that kid.

on the drive home that night, my guest and i were discussing the evening.

'i think that went pretty well, don't you?'

'yeah, they were cool. i'd say it was a success. uh, except maybe for the part where b was trying to kill me.'

'what?'

'actually, he was doing a pretty good imitation of that scene in the first movie where darth vader is annoyed at one of the imperial guards and just puts his hand up in the air, using The Force to strangle the guy.'

'so that's what he was doing! i didn't catch it because of the voice changer.'

'yep. pretty much.'

'hmmm. well let that be a lesson to you, mister. you'd better treat me right because you have got yourself some very tough competition.'

11 comments:

Jon said...

I’d say that whether he goes to the dark side of the force or not, just make sure he doesn’t turn into a whiny little baby like Anikan and Luke…

omar said...

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that my kid is going to be using the force to try to kill people when he's seven...

Radioactive Jam said...

Looks like he's got a great start on a life of winning friends and influencing people. Or if they "fail" him - crushing their windpipes.

Katie said...

I would kill to witness that. And seriously, if I had been B's victim, I definitely would have learned to tread carefully.

Syar said...

B's so adorable. especially the part where he was explaining that the dark side made him take the chocolates.

nobody believes me when I use that excuse.

Farah said...

Omg, i love that darth vader voice changer mask thing! My cousin has it and it was a source of entertainment for weeks. I hope my kid turns out to be that confident.
I'm not pregnant or anything though, just saying.

Guyana-Gyal said...

What an absolutely delicious post. I think I said it before, you can write.

Hehehe, I like little boy B. Stay on his good side, though, Cadiz, make sure you don't betray him, let him know you're *his* girl, hahaha...

Ale said...

kids say the truth - they're so much more in touch with wright wrong, etc... the older we get the more numb we are to which side is making us do certain things...

omar said...

At what point can I start harassing you about not posting? I want to harass, but I want to do so in the most considerate manner possible. I mean, it's probably too early to break out the old "Shuck N Obituaries" joke, but it has been a few days...

Jon said...

"Shuck N Obituaries?" I don't get it...

jinius said...

men can be very territorial even at the age of seven. just started reading your blog and like your 100s list! i wanted to be just like that one asian fly girl lol.