i have a problem. i have an addiction to late-night television. i'm not talking about your run-of-the-mill 'tony danza show' or infomercials, either. i'm talking about educational televsion.
the latest object of my desire: 'Connect With English.'
it's on at 4 a.m. on a local pbs station that calls itself 'Wise TV.' It offers all kinds of educational programming, from history to trigonometry. i like the language shows the best, like 'Destinos,' a serial we used to watch in high school to help us learn Spanish. they have a french one and i really liked the german one, but i don't know enough german to figure out what it's called. i'd like to say i enjoy these shows because i'm a culture junkie and i want to learn, but the sad reality is, i get hooked on the cheesy storylines. but this is by far the worst. you know you have a problem when you're tuning into a show aimed to help non-native speakers feel more comfortable with the colloquialisms of your native tongue.
'Connect With English' has a captivating story (sort of) about love, loss and chasing your dreams in the good ol' U.S. of A. each episode consists of three parts, which are broken up by some stimulating dialogue:
chinese lady: kevin is really upset because no one is listening to him.
middle eastern man: rebecca keeps telling kevin what to do. no one wants to hear his opinion.
trendy asian guy: then kevin steals the rental car and goes on a drive.
south american woman: stealing the car was the wrong thing to do.
middle eastern man: kevin is upset. wouldn't you be angry if no one listened to your opinion? rebecca is trying to rule his life!
south american woman: i would be angry, but i wouldn't take the keys.
african man: kevin goes to pick up his girlfriend who was home from college on holiday.
french woman: but then kevin and his girlfriend they argue about why she didn't write him any letters from college, and she says she is seeing other people.
chinese lady: kevin sits in the park and finally allows himself to cry over his father's death.
riveting, i tell you.
but i must mention that the reason i became interested and sat through three episodes was to find out if the guy in the opening credits was mark consuelos. it is him, and he does a fine job as one of rebecca's multiple (!) love interests. i'm pretty sure this was one of his first roles, shortly before his foray into the soap world of Kelly Ripa.
(i stand by my opinion that the above is a sound justification for my being up at 4 a.m. watching a show that is teaching me what i already know. hey, it's better than 'Springer.')
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Thursday, July 28, 2005
the problem with parking -- vol. 5
the problem with parking is that it's such a freaking crapshoot. one day you stay up too late and when you need to wake up, while walking across the room to silence the ringing alarm, you convince yourself there is no work today and get back in bed -- only to awaken at the time you really should be leaving the house -- and are very tardy to work. the next day you set two alarms and get out of the house on time, but are just as late to the office because you spent 45 minutes circling to find a space. injustice, i tell you.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
cameos are like easter eggs
as you guys know, i watch 'Arthur' every day before i go to work. but right afterward, if my ride is running late, i get to catch part of 'The Facts of Life.' somehow i managed to catch the pilot, so now it makes a lot more sense to me than it did in 1987. the show's not as good as 'Arthur,' but it's damn entertaining. [shakes head] that tootie. but jo is still my favorite.
granted, it'd be better if i got to see an entire episode more often than just once every few weeks, but the endings are hardly difficult to predict. besides, i've caught several interesting cameos so far:
Helen Hunt, as a pothead sorority girl
'MacGyver' Richard Dean Anderson, as tootie's aunt's husband
Julie from 'friends' Lauren Tom as a japanese girl
Crispin Glover as a cadet or some ROTC kid
so of course when i was waiting for reports i looked up all the other guests. they had some rising stars over there on 'The Facts of Life.'
'Jan Brady' Eve Plum
Jami Gertz
Jean Smart
Moon Unit Zappa
George Clooney
Penelope Ann Miller
Lela Rochon
Stacey Q
Dick Van Patten
Dennis Haysbert
Richard Grieco
David Spade
'blossom' Mayim Bialik
Seth Green
Juliette Lewis
i know, looking them up ahead of time is going to kill it for me when i do see these people, but then i won't be wracking my brain all day trying to figure out who they are. for once. because you know that's the type of thing than can drive you nuts.
granted, it'd be better if i got to see an entire episode more often than just once every few weeks, but the endings are hardly difficult to predict. besides, i've caught several interesting cameos so far:
Helen Hunt, as a pothead sorority girl
'MacGyver' Richard Dean Anderson, as tootie's aunt's husband
Julie from 'friends' Lauren Tom as a japanese girl
Crispin Glover as a cadet or some ROTC kid
so of course when i was waiting for reports i looked up all the other guests. they had some rising stars over there on 'The Facts of Life.'
'Jan Brady' Eve Plum
Jami Gertz
Jean Smart
Moon Unit Zappa
George Clooney
Penelope Ann Miller
Lela Rochon
Stacey Q
Dick Van Patten
Dennis Haysbert
Richard Grieco
David Spade
'blossom' Mayim Bialik
Seth Green
Juliette Lewis
i know, looking them up ahead of time is going to kill it for me when i do see these people, but then i won't be wracking my brain all day trying to figure out who they are. for once. because you know that's the type of thing than can drive you nuts.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
precious moments
tonight i went with my friends to pick up their six-year-old son from the babysitter's house at the end of the evening. their kid is really adorable and i had been looking forward to seeing him, because he'd been visiting far-off relatives for part of the summer and i hadn't seen him in a while.
he hops in his booster seat in the back. he hasn't seen me yet and is busy telling his mom about his new toy. after he gets situated, i lean over from the front seat.
me: hey b! how are ya?
b: CADIZ! are you gonna sleep over?
(i had stayed in his room while he was away, and said i might steal his bed, it was so comfy. i guess he was salty for having missed the sleepover party.)
me: sorry, pal, i can't tonight. besides, where would i sleep now that you're home?
b: don't worry, you can sleep in my bed. i'll sleep on the floor.
me: oh, b, that's so sweet, but i could never do that! i'd stay on the couch.
b's mom: well, b, cadiz can't stay tonight anyway because she has to go to work tomorrow.
me: i know, i'm sorry, b.
b: awww, MAN!
me: (to myself) f-ing work.
he hops in his booster seat in the back. he hasn't seen me yet and is busy telling his mom about his new toy. after he gets situated, i lean over from the front seat.
me: hey b! how are ya?
b: CADIZ! are you gonna sleep over?
(i had stayed in his room while he was away, and said i might steal his bed, it was so comfy. i guess he was salty for having missed the sleepover party.)
me: sorry, pal, i can't tonight. besides, where would i sleep now that you're home?
b: don't worry, you can sleep in my bed. i'll sleep on the floor.
me: oh, b, that's so sweet, but i could never do that! i'd stay on the couch.
b's mom: well, b, cadiz can't stay tonight anyway because she has to go to work tomorrow.
me: i know, i'm sorry, b.
b: awww, MAN!
me: (to myself) f-ing work.
life is in the details -- a running list
this stuff makes me smile:
12/27
a coffeeshop that sells sushi -- that isn't even half bad
12/26
reluctantly hanging up the phone after six and a half hours only to struggle in trying to remember what the hell we were talking about all that time.
12/9
people who stay up late just to have dinner with me
12/4
being totally late for a flight, but still being able to make it into the second boarding group.
12/3
hooking up a playstation to a vcr to a tv just so i can catch up on this week's 'Lost'
12/2
palm trees
11/27
a brother who will figure out how to use your technological equipment, set it all up for you and then explain it in layman's terms, while he's home on break
11/26
the first snow of winter, blowing around in powdery glory
11/20
when a halfass plan brings together three good friends, a funny play, samba in the living room, looking up randoms on friendster, mini shots of rum and cajun corn
11/7
new old friends
11/3
a smile that makes you forget unpleasant anniversaries
10/23
caring about what my friends think of you
10/1
when you wake up to the smell of a roasting turkey and realize it's not even thanksgiving.
9/10
somebody who stays up with you on the phone till sunrise just to keep you company with a conversation about peanut butter and jelly
8/28
when the chef reinvents her recipe because she remembered at the last minute that you don't like bananas
8/15
having coffee with the central perk crowd at the old hangout, reminiscing, catching up and making a ruckus among the old people eating their apple cobbler and jell-o. for just a second, you're basking in the glory of the good old days before all the heartbreak and drifting apart.
8/14
when you open your bag in the morning to find out a very sweet person has strung up a garland of her precious jasmine blooms before she left just so you could wear them in your hair, smell divine, and constantly think about how lucky you are to have a mother like that.
sitting at the cubicle behind the pole at work so that people have to really look for you, so you don't have to deal with problems until they get very messy.
someone at work bringing you a triple-chocolate cake with your name on it and a gift certificate to the spa, even though you hadn't told anyone it was your birthday.
8/11
getting into a snit with your friend and feeling bad all day, only to check your phone and get a message from her about how she wants to hang out with you sans reference to aforementioned snit.
fresh guavas, quartered with just a hint of salt sprinkled on top
the ache you feel in your muscles you didn't think you had, the day after a workout
postcards with inside jokes on them
when your horoscope says a splurge buy will make you happy on a day you had already made plans to go to the mall. then when you see a beautiful jacket, you already have the rationale to buy it.
that person who says aloud what everyone in the room is already thinking
7/29
getting correspondence in the mail. (bills and junk don't count)
home movies
the light turning green right as you were getting ready to stop
realizing that there still IS some chocolate ice cream in the freezer after you assumed it was over.
a friend who warns you that if you put too many cds in the last slot of your over-the-visor cd holder, eventually it will become stretched out and you won't be able to make a left turn without your cds splashing all over the place. i would never have thought about that possibility.
7/26
radio presets
really-fresh potato chips
waking up in a panic only to realize it's sunday
when someone contacts you for the sole purpose of telling you they miss you
birthday party goody bags
mix tapes
someone remembering what you said in passing and relevantly bringing it up with no agenda
people with no agenda
black-and-blues from pretending to breakdance
a tall, cool cup of milk with a piping hot slice of pie (pizza, that is. that one was for you, omar.)
how the way each person applies lipstick causes the makeup in the tube to form a different shape
netflix
12/27
a coffeeshop that sells sushi -- that isn't even half bad
12/26
reluctantly hanging up the phone after six and a half hours only to struggle in trying to remember what the hell we were talking about all that time.
12/9
people who stay up late just to have dinner with me
12/4
being totally late for a flight, but still being able to make it into the second boarding group.
12/3
hooking up a playstation to a vcr to a tv just so i can catch up on this week's 'Lost'
12/2
palm trees
11/27
a brother who will figure out how to use your technological equipment, set it all up for you and then explain it in layman's terms, while he's home on break
11/26
the first snow of winter, blowing around in powdery glory
11/20
when a halfass plan brings together three good friends, a funny play, samba in the living room, looking up randoms on friendster, mini shots of rum and cajun corn
11/7
new old friends
11/3
a smile that makes you forget unpleasant anniversaries
10/23
caring about what my friends think of you
10/1
when you wake up to the smell of a roasting turkey and realize it's not even thanksgiving.
9/10
somebody who stays up with you on the phone till sunrise just to keep you company with a conversation about peanut butter and jelly
8/28
when the chef reinvents her recipe because she remembered at the last minute that you don't like bananas
8/15
having coffee with the central perk crowd at the old hangout, reminiscing, catching up and making a ruckus among the old people eating their apple cobbler and jell-o. for just a second, you're basking in the glory of the good old days before all the heartbreak and drifting apart.
8/14
when you open your bag in the morning to find out a very sweet person has strung up a garland of her precious jasmine blooms before she left just so you could wear them in your hair, smell divine, and constantly think about how lucky you are to have a mother like that.
sitting at the cubicle behind the pole at work so that people have to really look for you, so you don't have to deal with problems until they get very messy.
someone at work bringing you a triple-chocolate cake with your name on it and a gift certificate to the spa, even though you hadn't told anyone it was your birthday.
8/11
getting into a snit with your friend and feeling bad all day, only to check your phone and get a message from her about how she wants to hang out with you sans reference to aforementioned snit.
fresh guavas, quartered with just a hint of salt sprinkled on top
the ache you feel in your muscles you didn't think you had, the day after a workout
postcards with inside jokes on them
when your horoscope says a splurge buy will make you happy on a day you had already made plans to go to the mall. then when you see a beautiful jacket, you already have the rationale to buy it.
that person who says aloud what everyone in the room is already thinking
7/29
getting correspondence in the mail. (bills and junk don't count)
home movies
the light turning green right as you were getting ready to stop
realizing that there still IS some chocolate ice cream in the freezer after you assumed it was over.
a friend who warns you that if you put too many cds in the last slot of your over-the-visor cd holder, eventually it will become stretched out and you won't be able to make a left turn without your cds splashing all over the place. i would never have thought about that possibility.
7/26
radio presets
really-fresh potato chips
waking up in a panic only to realize it's sunday
when someone contacts you for the sole purpose of telling you they miss you
birthday party goody bags
mix tapes
someone remembering what you said in passing and relevantly bringing it up with no agenda
people with no agenda
black-and-blues from pretending to breakdance
a tall, cool cup of milk with a piping hot slice of pie (pizza, that is. that one was for you, omar.)
how the way each person applies lipstick causes the makeup in the tube to form a different shape
netflix
life is in the details -- a running rant
this stuff drives me nuts:
12/27
when my brother hijacks my phone to talk to the person i want to talk to about stupid sports crap.
12/26
having to get up and go to work when the ENTIRE FREE WORLD is off today. and they're all clogging up the freaking highways, making me late.
12/12
when people don't like me because of who i am, not because of anything i've done. :(
12/9
the fact that my car automatically locks when you close the door if the engine is running; inevitably, i have a wet seat from having the window open a little while i clean the snow off my ride just to prevent myself from being locked out.
12/4
stupid terrorists who have taken away my right to come with you into the gate to say goodbye at the airport
12/3
not knowing what to say at dinner with people you just met that you'd really like to impress and kicking yourself for not thinking of something witty to use to break up the uncomfortable silence.
12/2
choosing a dress to wear when the only information provided is "semi-formal"
11/27
when they put big old sprouts on top of the thai chicken fettucine, which get stuck in the noodles and make the twirl method impossible, causing the peanut sauce to splatter all over my reports and myself
11/20
Finding a dress to wear
11/7
the people who make sure you don’t stand your car too long outside the airport terminal
11/5
unfounded fears about judgement
11/3
Double boiler heating/cooling
10/24
when a misunderstanding can lead to you walking around for 2 days as if your best friend just moved to siberia when a conversation could have straightened it out in the first place.
10/1
realizing at 11:59 p.m. that you put your car at a meter when you got to work today and only paid up until 5:30 p.m. and completely forgot to move it to the lot. then when you nearly bust a gut hauling ass out there, you realize that because you had put the car two spaces up from where you normally park, it counted as 'business district' so the ticket was $20 more expensive. however, you're so glad you hadn't been towed it doesn't even matter.
9/10
when the taillights of the chronic-braking car in front of you start to look like a monster, whose face you're very tempted to smash in
9/3
when i'm trying my best to be discreet, but even people i hardly know can see through my cheesy smile
8/26
talking smack about someone who sold you tickets only to feel dumb after he tries to make it up to you, showing that he isn't that bad of a guy afterall
8/19
getting overcharged for bogus baseball tickets, and only finding out after 2 hours' sleep, a cranky car ride and waiting an hour in the rain. THEN having the jerk who sold them to you not make any extra effort to make you feel better about being duped.
8/14
sitting in an office that is too cold to be comfortable, but too warm to warrant a sweater
when you finally can't stand the too-cold-too-warm office, haul your booty all the way over to the cafe, get chicken noodle soup to go, and then have it fall out of the bottom of the paper bag (which was wet from the counter) right in the middle of the crosswalk
unsuccessfully trying to imitate actual dancing at a party populated by professional dancers -- and not even being able to drink b/c you have to drive to suburbia at the end of the night
8/11
losing weight only to find out your booty jeans are now your saggy jeans. :(
buying jeans
when the fear of jumping from the pan into the fire makes you stay put to boil to death
people who get your snapshots out of order, or worse, get their greasy prints all over your loved ones' faces.
being nocturnal
7/29
people who whistle/click/clack etc. when they've got you on hold while they look something up
when a lightning strike renders your vcr incapable of recording, but it can still do everything else
when your favorite piece of clothing/bag/shoe finally just gives up and gets a hole/shrinks/gets a stain/breaks/gives up on you
pedestians who mockingly saunter across the street, not even at a crosswalk, taunting you with their eyes and slowing down when they see you're in a hurry
following chronic brakers on the highway
7/26
the sound of creasing paper
the stupid narrow name sticker they put on cd cases that is impossible to remove in less than 30 seconds. for god's sake, i just spent five minutes trying to get the wrapper off.
mosquito bites
mosquitoes in general -- what significant role do they play in the ecosystem, anyway?
chunky peanut butter
how the one thing you're craving is exactly the one thing missing from the refrigerator
seeing outlines of the dead insects lying in the cover of your ceiling light
sleeping limbs
stale lucky charms (i only like the oats)
being unable to fall asleep when it's imperative that you do so
12/27
when my brother hijacks my phone to talk to the person i want to talk to about stupid sports crap.
12/26
having to get up and go to work when the ENTIRE FREE WORLD is off today. and they're all clogging up the freaking highways, making me late.
12/12
when people don't like me because of who i am, not because of anything i've done. :(
12/9
the fact that my car automatically locks when you close the door if the engine is running; inevitably, i have a wet seat from having the window open a little while i clean the snow off my ride just to prevent myself from being locked out.
12/4
stupid terrorists who have taken away my right to come with you into the gate to say goodbye at the airport
12/3
not knowing what to say at dinner with people you just met that you'd really like to impress and kicking yourself for not thinking of something witty to use to break up the uncomfortable silence.
12/2
choosing a dress to wear when the only information provided is "semi-formal"
11/27
when they put big old sprouts on top of the thai chicken fettucine, which get stuck in the noodles and make the twirl method impossible, causing the peanut sauce to splatter all over my reports and myself
11/20
Finding a dress to wear
11/7
the people who make sure you don’t stand your car too long outside the airport terminal
11/5
unfounded fears about judgement
11/3
Double boiler heating/cooling
10/24
when a misunderstanding can lead to you walking around for 2 days as if your best friend just moved to siberia when a conversation could have straightened it out in the first place.
10/1
realizing at 11:59 p.m. that you put your car at a meter when you got to work today and only paid up until 5:30 p.m. and completely forgot to move it to the lot. then when you nearly bust a gut hauling ass out there, you realize that because you had put the car two spaces up from where you normally park, it counted as 'business district' so the ticket was $20 more expensive. however, you're so glad you hadn't been towed it doesn't even matter.
9/10
when the taillights of the chronic-braking car in front of you start to look like a monster, whose face you're very tempted to smash in
9/3
when i'm trying my best to be discreet, but even people i hardly know can see through my cheesy smile
8/26
talking smack about someone who sold you tickets only to feel dumb after he tries to make it up to you, showing that he isn't that bad of a guy afterall
8/19
getting overcharged for bogus baseball tickets, and only finding out after 2 hours' sleep, a cranky car ride and waiting an hour in the rain. THEN having the jerk who sold them to you not make any extra effort to make you feel better about being duped.
8/14
sitting in an office that is too cold to be comfortable, but too warm to warrant a sweater
when you finally can't stand the too-cold-too-warm office, haul your booty all the way over to the cafe, get chicken noodle soup to go, and then have it fall out of the bottom of the paper bag (which was wet from the counter) right in the middle of the crosswalk
unsuccessfully trying to imitate actual dancing at a party populated by professional dancers -- and not even being able to drink b/c you have to drive to suburbia at the end of the night
8/11
losing weight only to find out your booty jeans are now your saggy jeans. :(
buying jeans
when the fear of jumping from the pan into the fire makes you stay put to boil to death
people who get your snapshots out of order, or worse, get their greasy prints all over your loved ones' faces.
being nocturnal
7/29
people who whistle/click/clack etc. when they've got you on hold while they look something up
when a lightning strike renders your vcr incapable of recording, but it can still do everything else
when your favorite piece of clothing/bag/shoe finally just gives up and gets a hole/shrinks/gets a stain/breaks/gives up on you
pedestians who mockingly saunter across the street, not even at a crosswalk, taunting you with their eyes and slowing down when they see you're in a hurry
following chronic brakers on the highway
7/26
the sound of creasing paper
the stupid narrow name sticker they put on cd cases that is impossible to remove in less than 30 seconds. for god's sake, i just spent five minutes trying to get the wrapper off.
mosquito bites
mosquitoes in general -- what significant role do they play in the ecosystem, anyway?
chunky peanut butter
how the one thing you're craving is exactly the one thing missing from the refrigerator
seeing outlines of the dead insects lying in the cover of your ceiling light
sleeping limbs
stale lucky charms (i only like the oats)
being unable to fall asleep when it's imperative that you do so
Monday, July 25, 2005
Sunday, July 24, 2005
on the street and even at the picture show
Eugene Record, original lead man for the Chi-Lites, passed away on Friday. i happened to see it in the paper, more specifically the inside half of the story, the headline of which reads:
RECORD:
Sang lead on
'Have You Seen
Her,' 'Oh Girl'
and for the last two days, my thoughts have had trouble navigating around various strains and snippets of 'have you seen her.' no folks, not the golden-throated Chi-lites version, but the cheesy M.C. Hammer remake, from 'Please Hammer, Don't Hurt 'Em' (which i can proudly say i do not own.) especially persistent is the part where the falsetto guy is singing 'whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ooohhh why... did she have to leave and go away?' and the like-butter speaking part of which i know none of the lyrics but can only remember the intonation of that deep voice. and of course, the bup-bup-bup chorus parts. those are the worst.
who says i don't talk about obituaries?
RECORD:
Sang lead on
'Have You Seen
Her,' 'Oh Girl'
and for the last two days, my thoughts have had trouble navigating around various strains and snippets of 'have you seen her.' no folks, not the golden-throated Chi-lites version, but the cheesy M.C. Hammer remake, from 'Please Hammer, Don't Hurt 'Em' (which i can proudly say i do not own.) especially persistent is the part where the falsetto guy is singing 'whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ooohhh why... did she have to leave and go away?' and the like-butter speaking part of which i know none of the lyrics but can only remember the intonation of that deep voice. and of course, the bup-bup-bup chorus parts. those are the worst.
who says i don't talk about obituaries?
Friday, July 22, 2005
thirty minutes, unless they stop for gas
tonight as we were driving home from work, we were following a hummer. it was your standard military-ish one, black, and from the looks of it, seemed to have the basic features like grommet-y bolts, bench seats along the windows, big-ass tires... save for one frill:
an illuminated "domino's pizza" sign strapped to the roof.
dude, i said to my carpool buddy, you've gotta be kidding me. i had to practically lean all the way out the window to determine that's exactly what the sign said, the thing's so huge. it's beyond my comprehension that someone would choose a vehicle with one of the smallest mile-per-gallon ratios to do a job for which the bulk of your time is spent driving around. geez, who pays for fuel?
that just blows my mind.
an illuminated "domino's pizza" sign strapped to the roof.
dude, i said to my carpool buddy, you've gotta be kidding me. i had to practically lean all the way out the window to determine that's exactly what the sign said, the thing's so huge. it's beyond my comprehension that someone would choose a vehicle with one of the smallest mile-per-gallon ratios to do a job for which the bulk of your time is spent driving around. geez, who pays for fuel?
that just blows my mind.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
goal: accomplished
jury duty is complete -- i wasn't selected. funny, but now i'm a little disappointed. that video they made us watch about how it's an important part of what makes our country so great struck a chord with me and i was sort of looking forward to it.
the day was not devoid of drama, however. i spent the bulk of it irritated beyond belief, because the most annoying person on earth and the second-most annoying person on earth had both been selected for today's juror pool, somehow already knew each other, and of course, decided to sit right by me.
to be brief, let me say that i am still on page 45 of Harry Potter despite an ENTIRE DAY DEVOTED TO READING because tweedle dum and tweedle dee's loud grating, stupid-topic, cigarette-feening, peppered-with-beavislike-hehhehs conversation continually burrowed into my ears, implanting homicidal thoughts. i may have read the same five pages at least seven times. and nothing could block it. not ear-plugging, not tv-watching, not mindless magazine reading, NOTHING! believe me, i was on vigil, waiting for someone farther away to go to the bathroom so i could run over and steal their spot. to no avail. i had to listen to these guys prattle on from 9 a.m. to nearly noon when we took a break for lunch. granted, that's not very long, but think of it as three hours of fingernails on a chalkboard.
we got back from break and i chose a spot pretty far away from where i had been sitting. i got into reading and even closed my eyes for a tiny nap when suddenly i hear, 'dude, someone took our seats! i guess we'll have to sit here,' coming from right behind me! holy chainsaws, i thought i was going to lose it. the blue-shirt guy to my left probably could tell, because he looked at me and shook his head sympathetically. (he had been sitting next to me before the break as well and joined me in the corner -- probably to get away from those clowns, too.)
the stirrings of insanity were sending me into a mild panic, but luck was on my side and the disruptive duo got up in search of coffee. shortly afterward, the announcerperson said that the three cases on the lineup for today wouldn't be needing jurors and that we had fulfilled our obligation. the first was a criminal case in which the defendant forfeited his right to a jury. the second was a civil suit and they reached a settlement. and the third, a medical malpractice case, had been predicted to last at least four weeks but the judge was adding a bunch of motions that would take some time, so they wouldn't be getting around to choosing jurors today.* phew.
as i got up to go, i realized just how pretty the blue-shirt guy was. i had been so peeved, i hadn't even really noticed.** annoying chatty bastards.
(* please forgive me if i got some of the legalese wrong. i was half out of my mind.
** i'm not usually this intolerant, but something about the not-loud-but-intrusive way these guys were acting and playing their cellphone ringers drove me up the wall.)
the day was not devoid of drama, however. i spent the bulk of it irritated beyond belief, because the most annoying person on earth and the second-most annoying person on earth had both been selected for today's juror pool, somehow already knew each other, and of course, decided to sit right by me.
to be brief, let me say that i am still on page 45 of Harry Potter despite an ENTIRE DAY DEVOTED TO READING because tweedle dum and tweedle dee's loud grating, stupid-topic, cigarette-feening, peppered-with-beavislike-hehhehs conversation continually burrowed into my ears, implanting homicidal thoughts. i may have read the same five pages at least seven times. and nothing could block it. not ear-plugging, not tv-watching, not mindless magazine reading, NOTHING! believe me, i was on vigil, waiting for someone farther away to go to the bathroom so i could run over and steal their spot. to no avail. i had to listen to these guys prattle on from 9 a.m. to nearly noon when we took a break for lunch. granted, that's not very long, but think of it as three hours of fingernails on a chalkboard.
we got back from break and i chose a spot pretty far away from where i had been sitting. i got into reading and even closed my eyes for a tiny nap when suddenly i hear, 'dude, someone took our seats! i guess we'll have to sit here,' coming from right behind me! holy chainsaws, i thought i was going to lose it. the blue-shirt guy to my left probably could tell, because he looked at me and shook his head sympathetically. (he had been sitting next to me before the break as well and joined me in the corner -- probably to get away from those clowns, too.)
the stirrings of insanity were sending me into a mild panic, but luck was on my side and the disruptive duo got up in search of coffee. shortly afterward, the announcerperson said that the three cases on the lineup for today wouldn't be needing jurors and that we had fulfilled our obligation. the first was a criminal case in which the defendant forfeited his right to a jury. the second was a civil suit and they reached a settlement. and the third, a medical malpractice case, had been predicted to last at least four weeks but the judge was adding a bunch of motions that would take some time, so they wouldn't be getting around to choosing jurors today.* phew.
as i got up to go, i realized just how pretty the blue-shirt guy was. i had been so peeved, i hadn't even really noticed.** annoying chatty bastards.
(* please forgive me if i got some of the legalese wrong. i was half out of my mind.
** i'm not usually this intolerant, but something about the not-loud-but-intrusive way these guys were acting and playing their cellphone ringers drove me up the wall.)
goal: last one picked
tomorrow i'm scheduled for jury duty.
now, i'm proud to partake in my civic duty, blah blah blah, but to be honest, i sort of don't want to be chosen. hell, i can barely remember to feed myself, let alone be entrusted to decide the fate of some other person i don't know. and what if there's a really thin shadow of a doubt? oh man. i can't even decide what to eat even when i do remember. also, what if we make the wrong choice and have to live with the guilt for the rest of our lives?
besides, the getting up early part sort of sucks.
but the one thing i am looking forward to is the long stretch of wait time i can fill with reading -- a luxury i rarely partake in because i'm oh so busy with sleeping and watching reruns of 'the facts of life.'
my plan: sit in the corner and duck behind my book muttering 'pleasedon'tpickme, pleasedon'tpickme, pleasedon'tpickme.'
now, i'm proud to partake in my civic duty, blah blah blah, but to be honest, i sort of don't want to be chosen. hell, i can barely remember to feed myself, let alone be entrusted to decide the fate of some other person i don't know. and what if there's a really thin shadow of a doubt? oh man. i can't even decide what to eat even when i do remember. also, what if we make the wrong choice and have to live with the guilt for the rest of our lives?
besides, the getting up early part sort of sucks.
but the one thing i am looking forward to is the long stretch of wait time i can fill with reading -- a luxury i rarely partake in because i'm oh so busy with sleeping and watching reruns of 'the facts of life.'
my plan: sit in the corner and duck behind my book muttering 'pleasedon'tpickme, pleasedon'tpickme, pleasedon'tpickme.'
Saturday, July 16, 2005
sometimes snickers doesn't satisfy
you know when you have a taste for something but you can't figure out what it is?
damn irritating.
what you crave will hit the spot exactly, making you feel ever so refreshed/quenched/satiated that your tastebuds won't dare ask for anything for a really long time. if only you could figure out what it is.
this evening i was trying to get through my shift, but i couldn't concentrate on anything because a lineup of snackfoods were parading through my mind, enticing me, but not well enough that i'd want to eat any.
at first i thought i wanted something cold. i decided a strawberry good humor bar (you know the ones with the pseudo-cake coating -- and not the bunny brand, it has to be good humor) would do the trick. i always ogle them in the vending machine but have never partaken. yeah, so i get there and it's the one time they're sold out.
then i was in the mood for something fake-fruity and my water just wasn't cutting it. and i wanted something carbonated. like orange soda. yeah! orange soda would totally hit the spot. i went to three vending machines on different floors, and wouldn't you know, none of them had it.
the quest was starting to cut into valuable work time, so i trudged back to the old desk with an apple juice and a snickers bar. don't worry; i didn't have them at the same time -- that'd be kind of gross.
it just didn't cut it.
i don't even want to pretend to imagine what it must be like for pregnant women.
damn irritating.
what you crave will hit the spot exactly, making you feel ever so refreshed/quenched/satiated that your tastebuds won't dare ask for anything for a really long time. if only you could figure out what it is.
this evening i was trying to get through my shift, but i couldn't concentrate on anything because a lineup of snackfoods were parading through my mind, enticing me, but not well enough that i'd want to eat any.
at first i thought i wanted something cold. i decided a strawberry good humor bar (you know the ones with the pseudo-cake coating -- and not the bunny brand, it has to be good humor) would do the trick. i always ogle them in the vending machine but have never partaken. yeah, so i get there and it's the one time they're sold out.
then i was in the mood for something fake-fruity and my water just wasn't cutting it. and i wanted something carbonated. like orange soda. yeah! orange soda would totally hit the spot. i went to three vending machines on different floors, and wouldn't you know, none of them had it.
the quest was starting to cut into valuable work time, so i trudged back to the old desk with an apple juice and a snickers bar. don't worry; i didn't have them at the same time -- that'd be kind of gross.
it just didn't cut it.
i don't even want to pretend to imagine what it must be like for pregnant women.
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
the problem with parking -- vol 4
the problem with parking is that, even if you're fabulously lucky enough to find a spot in front of the club because you took too long when you *thought* you knew where it was, you have to parallel park between a bentley and a hummer and you can't even love tap them for fear of tripping a car alarm. if that were to happen you can just kiss the smile-at-the-bouncer technique of jumping in line goodbye.
tricky business.
tricky business.
Monday, July 11, 2005
resistance is key
amazing how, with one key change, a repeated dream can have a totally different outcome the second time around.
scenario one:
a party. hero and heroine find themselves seated near one another.
awkwardness. alcohol. smalltalk. alcohol. nervous laughter. more alcohol. pent-up emotions.
they go for a walk.
discussion. tears. comfort. hesitation. intent gazing. confusion. temptation. slightly less hesitation. surrender. confusion. regret. anger. sadness. resentment.
scenario two
a party. heroine and ace find themselves alone together.
awkwardness. smalltalk with no eye contact. alcohol. food. smalltalk with eye contact. pent-up emotions.
they go for a walk.
discussion. expectation. confession. comfort. hesitation. intent gazing. confusion. temptation. slightly less hesitation. realization. reluctant resistance. confusion. confirmation. satisfaction. contentment.
scenario one:
a party. hero and heroine find themselves seated near one another.
awkwardness. alcohol. smalltalk. alcohol. nervous laughter. more alcohol. pent-up emotions.
they go for a walk.
discussion. tears. comfort. hesitation. intent gazing. confusion. temptation. slightly less hesitation. surrender. confusion. regret. anger. sadness. resentment.
scenario two
a party. heroine and ace find themselves alone together.
awkwardness. smalltalk with no eye contact. alcohol. food. smalltalk with eye contact. pent-up emotions.
they go for a walk.
discussion. expectation. confession. comfort. hesitation. intent gazing. confusion. temptation. slightly less hesitation. realization. reluctant resistance. confusion. confirmation. satisfaction. contentment.
Saturday, July 09, 2005
the problem with parking -- vol 3
the problem with parking is that, when you're in a hurry and you've been trolling for a spot for 10 minutes and finally find one that's dangerously close to an intersection and you accidentally move up too far, another driver can *claim* to think that you were signaling to turn, not park, and then pull a fried-green-tomatoes move on your ass.
then he'll just shrug his shoulders as you contemplate giving him the finger, wasting the entire appropriate finger-giving window, and you end up having to park down the street six blocks. that spot had been right in front.
you just come away wondering where the hell Tawanda is when you need her.
then he'll just shrug his shoulders as you contemplate giving him the finger, wasting the entire appropriate finger-giving window, and you end up having to park down the street six blocks. that spot had been right in front.
you just come away wondering where the hell Tawanda is when you need her.
Friday, July 08, 2005
note to self: learn to read notes to self
yeah, so i'm on pseudo vacation. i'm staying with a friend in the city, but both of us still have to work. despite the fact that we work opposite shifts, we have managed to have a hell of a lot of fun. (mostly because i come home and keep her up half the night, even though she has to wake up at 7 a.m. and i can snooze till noon. yep, she's definitely good peeps.)
all week i have been looking forward to the weekend. when we'd both be here at the same time. because i! actually! have! some! days! off!
we had big plans. dance workshops. movies. comedy shows. music festivals. pedicures. cool new restaurants. dvds. gossip. my mind was swimming with all the possibilities. ever resourceful, she'd already planned several itineraries, depending on what the mood would be that day.
but i had to go and ruin it.
by looking at my planner.
carefully.
you got it. i have dungeon duty after all.
but that's okay. it'll make the one day we can hang out even more fun.
sigh.
all week i have been looking forward to the weekend. when we'd both be here at the same time. because i! actually! have! some! days! off!
we had big plans. dance workshops. movies. comedy shows. music festivals. pedicures. cool new restaurants. dvds. gossip. my mind was swimming with all the possibilities. ever resourceful, she'd already planned several itineraries, depending on what the mood would be that day.
but i had to go and ruin it.
by looking at my planner.
carefully.
you got it. i have dungeon duty after all.
but that's okay. it'll make the one day we can hang out even more fun.
sigh.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
the problem with parking -- vol. 2
the problem with parking is that meter-people do not allow much of a grace period for getting caught up in covertly reading funny blogs at work while waiting for reports. constantly minimizing and adjusting windows to hide profile pictures does not lend itself to checking the time, despite its constant presence at the corner of the screen.
unfortunately, when you do see the time and realize your meter was up 20 minutes ago, it takes another 6 minutes to sprint across the office, down the stairs, through the parking lot, under the bridge, across the traffic and down the street. and when you get there, thankful that you haven't broken a heel or an ankle, it's inevitable that there's an orange-and-white welcome note affixed to the windshield.
it's just a little $30 reminder: 'watch the damn clock, moron.'
unfortunately, when you do see the time and realize your meter was up 20 minutes ago, it takes another 6 minutes to sprint across the office, down the stairs, through the parking lot, under the bridge, across the traffic and down the street. and when you get there, thankful that you haven't broken a heel or an ankle, it's inevitable that there's an orange-and-white welcome note affixed to the windshield.
it's just a little $30 reminder: 'watch the damn clock, moron.'
the problem with parking -- vol. 1
the problem with parking in the shade, although your car is slightly cooler than it would have been baking in the sun and that your bottled water is warm instead of boiling, is the heaps of dung. no amount of windshield wiper fluid can dislodge it, and the streaky, green/white/black/brown stuff makes it difficult to navigate. i think it has even damaged the wiper blades.
(i added the 'vol. 1' because parking is the bane of my existence and the fodder is endless.)
(i added the 'vol. 1' because parking is the bane of my existence and the fodder is endless.)
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
celebrating with a bang
so in honor of independence day, we decided to take the 'untouchables tour.' (i know, that doesn't really have anything to do with the birthday of the country, but gangsters sure took liberties in the 20s.) i don't know enough about the city, and my pal is from out of state. we both love a little lore and thought it'd be fun.
we hopped on the *bus* and were greeted by two men dressed in gangster regalia. the show was informative and entertaining and even had a faux shootout scenario. cheesy fun with a little bit of local history. what more can a certifiable dork ask for?
there were some cool tidbits. like how Holy Name Cathedral has these unnecessary steps around it to cover up all the bulletholes from when Al Capone's tommyguns took out 'deanie' o'bannion from across the street. you can still see a stray one higher up. in fact people take their wedding pictures in front of it.
during the two-hour tour we saw nearly every major area of the city. unfortunately most of the historic places are now parking lots, parks -- and most overwhelmingly -- condos. that was the saddest part of the day. sadder still is that i may eventually end up contributing to the problem.
it seems every inch of this city will very shortly be turned into condominiums. the maxwell street area, a very modest place not too long ago where most of the city's immigrant groups have at one time or another made a very meager living, is building condos starting at $300,000. same with chinatown and even pilsen. but the worst offender was the blackstone hotel on michigan ave, where louis armstrong and billie holiday once played. soon it will be luxury condos starting from 3 to 8 million dollars a pop. the ad tagline? the blackstone: for those who enjoy life and success. as if the rest of us are too busy soaking up death and failure.
that's more depressing than hearing about all the people gunned down by gangsters.
we hopped on the *bus* and were greeted by two men dressed in gangster regalia. the show was informative and entertaining and even had a faux shootout scenario. cheesy fun with a little bit of local history. what more can a certifiable dork ask for?
there were some cool tidbits. like how Holy Name Cathedral has these unnecessary steps around it to cover up all the bulletholes from when Al Capone's tommyguns took out 'deanie' o'bannion from across the street. you can still see a stray one higher up. in fact people take their wedding pictures in front of it.
during the two-hour tour we saw nearly every major area of the city. unfortunately most of the historic places are now parking lots, parks -- and most overwhelmingly -- condos. that was the saddest part of the day. sadder still is that i may eventually end up contributing to the problem.
it seems every inch of this city will very shortly be turned into condominiums. the maxwell street area, a very modest place not too long ago where most of the city's immigrant groups have at one time or another made a very meager living, is building condos starting at $300,000. same with chinatown and even pilsen. but the worst offender was the blackstone hotel on michigan ave, where louis armstrong and billie holiday once played. soon it will be luxury condos starting from 3 to 8 million dollars a pop. the ad tagline? the blackstone: for those who enjoy life and success. as if the rest of us are too busy soaking up death and failure.
that's more depressing than hearing about all the people gunned down by gangsters.
Monday, July 04, 2005
B is for more than just Boogaloo
saturday the copychief and i went to a battle.
ever see 'you got served'? okay, B2K and roger from 'sister sister' have nothing on the real thing.
it went from 4 (ish) to 1 a.m., and consisted of popping and locking battle, individual breaking and city vs. city -- the last of which was pretty damn exciting when you're sitting 2.5 feet away from the action. i mean we're not talking your six-step or your superman. we're talking about somehow taking off your shirt while you're spinning on your head, bouncing up and down with your entire body supported by your elbow and handstands where the bulk of your body is parallel to the floor. throw in a little trash talking and attitude and you've got one hell of a show.
it was 20$ to get in and i didn't really know what to expect, so i parked myself right outside the red rope and didn't move. i thought i was going to have to throw down a couple times when people would sneak in under the rope and park their big heads in front of me, but i managed to talk the organizers into a compromise so we all could see relatively well.
CC was performing in a transitional dance piece, so i was pretty much on my own for a good chunk of the day while she was backstage. i spent from 4 p.m. to 12 a.m. sitting on my ass on a linoleum floor. without moving more than to change position or maybe stand up a little. unfortunately, when it came time to get up and support my girl by joining in at the end of her performance, i thought my kneecap would break from standing up after having my legs bent so long. i stayed put.
usually i need a little bit of company when i'm by myself for many hours, but i don't think i thought about it for more than a second during that whole time. CC peeked out at me from backstage and later said i looked like a kid who was at the movies for the first time. i was riveted.
this is why this breaking battle was so damn fascinating:
a) the music is cool -- and your sternum vibrates to the rhythm
b) the moves seem death-defying, you wonder if you really saw what you just saw
c) they somehow don't seem to get injured
d) everyone is R-I-P-P-E-D
e) they work damn hard at what they do and are amazing at it
f) at the end of the day (drama aside) they're in it for the love of good dancing
g) as someone i talked to said, 'you can't wear sneakers into the club, and most of these kids start out too young for the club, so this is what they do. and they get so good at it, they don't even need the club anymore. clubs are just out to get money and get people drunk. this is so much better.'
h) there are a ton of little kids there. concerns about premature hearing loss aside, you see that they grow up doing this stuff and there was even a little kid in one of the competitions
i) the judges get off the thrones and throw down in a showcase. they're often so good there is no choice but to respect their rulings
j) the prizes are good, so these people are NOT playing around
k) it makes you want to learn how to do it so badly, but you come away from your pathetic attempts with even more respect for what they do
l) the people are freaking R-I-P-P-E-D
the final city battle was between boston and long island, with the former coming away with the title, cash and a trip to europe. there were people from tokyo, canada and all over the u.s. it was a fantastic show.
on top of that, everyone was so attractive. that is until you realize they're all 12. then they're just adorable.
even in the parking lot these guys came up to us and tried to take us out for breakfast-okay-tea?-how-about-a-fruit-plate?-okay-be-sure-to-remember-us. talking about being 'with kanye west' and whatnot. we politely declined but did recognize that it was one of the most gentlemanly approaches we've encountered in a very long time. (later we googled the guy and found out he wasn't bs-ing; he had quite a few celebrity connections, etc. in fact, his talent for the spoken word had been noticed by the movie producers for 'love jones' so he had coached larenz tate. granted in the end, 'breakfast' still translates to the same goal, but you gotta give a man props for trying.)
all in all, i think that evening was the best 20$ on entertainment i have ever spent.
if you want to get a glimpse of what i'm talking about go to cityvs.city.com, go to the multimedia section and click on one of the clips. they're a little long, but if you pay attention you can see some really awesome moves. the city vs. city 3 trailer isn't too long and has a pretty good highlight reel, however City Vs City Exclusive Teaser (long) gives a better idea of what it was actually like.
this stuff really is amazing. when i grow up, i wanna be a b-girl.
ever see 'you got served'? okay, B2K and roger from 'sister sister' have nothing on the real thing.
it went from 4 (ish) to 1 a.m., and consisted of popping and locking battle, individual breaking and city vs. city -- the last of which was pretty damn exciting when you're sitting 2.5 feet away from the action. i mean we're not talking your six-step or your superman. we're talking about somehow taking off your shirt while you're spinning on your head, bouncing up and down with your entire body supported by your elbow and handstands where the bulk of your body is parallel to the floor. throw in a little trash talking and attitude and you've got one hell of a show.
it was 20$ to get in and i didn't really know what to expect, so i parked myself right outside the red rope and didn't move. i thought i was going to have to throw down a couple times when people would sneak in under the rope and park their big heads in front of me, but i managed to talk the organizers into a compromise so we all could see relatively well.
CC was performing in a transitional dance piece, so i was pretty much on my own for a good chunk of the day while she was backstage. i spent from 4 p.m. to 12 a.m. sitting on my ass on a linoleum floor. without moving more than to change position or maybe stand up a little. unfortunately, when it came time to get up and support my girl by joining in at the end of her performance, i thought my kneecap would break from standing up after having my legs bent so long. i stayed put.
usually i need a little bit of company when i'm by myself for many hours, but i don't think i thought about it for more than a second during that whole time. CC peeked out at me from backstage and later said i looked like a kid who was at the movies for the first time. i was riveted.
this is why this breaking battle was so damn fascinating:
a) the music is cool -- and your sternum vibrates to the rhythm
b) the moves seem death-defying, you wonder if you really saw what you just saw
c) they somehow don't seem to get injured
d) everyone is R-I-P-P-E-D
e) they work damn hard at what they do and are amazing at it
f) at the end of the day (drama aside) they're in it for the love of good dancing
g) as someone i talked to said, 'you can't wear sneakers into the club, and most of these kids start out too young for the club, so this is what they do. and they get so good at it, they don't even need the club anymore. clubs are just out to get money and get people drunk. this is so much better.'
h) there are a ton of little kids there. concerns about premature hearing loss aside, you see that they grow up doing this stuff and there was even a little kid in one of the competitions
i) the judges get off the thrones and throw down in a showcase. they're often so good there is no choice but to respect their rulings
j) the prizes are good, so these people are NOT playing around
k) it makes you want to learn how to do it so badly, but you come away from your pathetic attempts with even more respect for what they do
l) the people are freaking R-I-P-P-E-D
the final city battle was between boston and long island, with the former coming away with the title, cash and a trip to europe. there were people from tokyo, canada and all over the u.s. it was a fantastic show.
on top of that, everyone was so attractive. that is until you realize they're all 12. then they're just adorable.
even in the parking lot these guys came up to us and tried to take us out for breakfast-okay-tea?-how-about-a-fruit-plate?-okay-be-sure-to-remember-us. talking about being 'with kanye west' and whatnot. we politely declined but did recognize that it was one of the most gentlemanly approaches we've encountered in a very long time. (later we googled the guy and found out he wasn't bs-ing; he had quite a few celebrity connections, etc. in fact, his talent for the spoken word had been noticed by the movie producers for 'love jones' so he had coached larenz tate. granted in the end, 'breakfast' still translates to the same goal, but you gotta give a man props for trying.)
all in all, i think that evening was the best 20$ on entertainment i have ever spent.
if you want to get a glimpse of what i'm talking about go to cityvs.city.com, go to the multimedia section and click on one of the clips. they're a little long, but if you pay attention you can see some really awesome moves. the city vs. city 3 trailer isn't too long and has a pretty good highlight reel, however City Vs City Exclusive Teaser (long) gives a better idea of what it was actually like.
this stuff really is amazing. when i grow up, i wanna be a b-girl.
Friday, July 01, 2005
beware the soothsayer
fortunetellers freak me out.
granted, i have never really consulted one (unless you count the tarot reader at the highschool graduation celebration thing who told me the psycho boyfriend at the time was *possessive.* uh YEAH, but i think the annoying-ass pager i was wearing was a dead giveaway). and i doubt i ever will, for fear of what s/he might tell me.
and here is why.
when my mother was 12 and growing up in a tiny one-stoplight town in the motherland, some guy passing through town came over to their house. everyone knew my grandma because of her hospitality and fabulous cooking. so of course she invited him in for dinner.
during that time he made a lot of predictions based solely on looking at each individual in the room, which included my mom, her six brothers and sisters and my grandmother.
he said:
* (to my grandmother): when you die, only one of your children will be with you; all of the rest, except one, will show up after you're already dead.
she died peacefully at my youngest uncle's house after saying a prayer in which she named everyone in the extended family. everyone else came for the funeral and when they were all gathered at his house, the postman arrived with a letter from my mother that had been sent more than a week in advance.
* that only two out of the seven would be very happy in their marriages, including which ones.
true.
* that the third sister shouldn't marry the man she was engaged to at that time or she would be unhappy for the rest of her days.
sadly, that was very true. that guy left and has an entire different family in another state. and her kids have been a handful to say the least.
* that my grandmother is very blessed to have her youngest son.
no one could have taken care of her, especially at the end, better than he and his wife did.
* that my mother's husband would come from a city off a famous railway track. that no one would be present at her marriage and that it would take place across the seven seas.
my mom had never imagined leaving the region, much less going to work in the big city, where she met my dad on a blind date she agreed to as a favor to her cousin (who wasn't allowed to see her boyfriend alone). and she had never dreamed that she would end up in the U.S. it was true; no one from the family was present for the nuptials.
my mom had never really thought much about it until one day she and her sister were talking and realized it had all come true.
and all of this guy's predictions were based on one look around the room. she said there had been no personal questions. he joined them for the meal and walked out the door. they never saw him again.
granted, i have never really consulted one (unless you count the tarot reader at the highschool graduation celebration thing who told me the psycho boyfriend at the time was *possessive.* uh YEAH, but i think the annoying-ass pager i was wearing was a dead giveaway). and i doubt i ever will, for fear of what s/he might tell me.
and here is why.
when my mother was 12 and growing up in a tiny one-stoplight town in the motherland, some guy passing through town came over to their house. everyone knew my grandma because of her hospitality and fabulous cooking. so of course she invited him in for dinner.
during that time he made a lot of predictions based solely on looking at each individual in the room, which included my mom, her six brothers and sisters and my grandmother.
he said:
* (to my grandmother): when you die, only one of your children will be with you; all of the rest, except one, will show up after you're already dead.
she died peacefully at my youngest uncle's house after saying a prayer in which she named everyone in the extended family. everyone else came for the funeral and when they were all gathered at his house, the postman arrived with a letter from my mother that had been sent more than a week in advance.
* that only two out of the seven would be very happy in their marriages, including which ones.
true.
* that the third sister shouldn't marry the man she was engaged to at that time or she would be unhappy for the rest of her days.
sadly, that was very true. that guy left and has an entire different family in another state. and her kids have been a handful to say the least.
* that my grandmother is very blessed to have her youngest son.
no one could have taken care of her, especially at the end, better than he and his wife did.
* that my mother's husband would come from a city off a famous railway track. that no one would be present at her marriage and that it would take place across the seven seas.
my mom had never imagined leaving the region, much less going to work in the big city, where she met my dad on a blind date she agreed to as a favor to her cousin (who wasn't allowed to see her boyfriend alone). and she had never dreamed that she would end up in the U.S. it was true; no one from the family was present for the nuptials.
my mom had never really thought much about it until one day she and her sister were talking and realized it had all come true.
and all of this guy's predictions were based on one look around the room. she said there had been no personal questions. he joined them for the meal and walked out the door. they never saw him again.
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