Thursday, July 28, 2005

the problem with parking -- vol. 5

the problem with parking is that it's such a freaking crapshoot. one day you stay up too late and when you need to wake up, while walking across the room to silence the ringing alarm, you convince yourself there is no work today and get back in bed -- only to awaken at the time you really should be leaving the house -- and are very tardy to work. the next day you set two alarms and get out of the house on time, but are just as late to the office because you spent 45 minutes circling to find a space. injustice, i tell you.


Ale said...

the invisible enemy is obviously on vacation IN CHICAGO :)

lucasjackson7 said...

you need a tank and then you could just park anywhere. did you ever see america's scariest police chases when the guy steals the tank in san diego and he's cruisin down the interstate. no one got in his way. he was all like, "yo, i gotta tank...MOVE!"

yes, i think a tank could remedy your parking problems.

Jon said...

How about this, I actually remember when the tank was on the loose! That was crazy… we get some crazy stuff like that here though… did you guys ever see the bank robbery where they made their getaway by walking down the street? Yeah, they had all kinds of crazy body armor on and had some serious weapons in hand… armor piercing stuff and what not. That was crazy too.

Anyway… I think your better off buying a dummy fire hydrant and putting it right in front of your building. Then you can always have that spot. Just put it up when you leave and toss it in the trunk while you’re working… with your hours, I don’t imagine a lot of people will spot you. I’m pretty sure that plan is airtight. Let me know how your trouble free parking from now on works out.

omar said...

You know I'm in favor of lucas' tank idea. Park wherever you want. What are they going to do, tow you?

Though as a plan B, I'd say jon's idea is pretty good.

Lou (a.k.a. rainpuddles) said...

I hate parking... I avoid parallel parking whenever I can and will park as far away from all other vehicles when parking in a parking lot!

cadiz12 said...

the tank idea is brilliant -- save for two small problems.

a) tanks are impressively gargantuan, but don't move very fast. that would mean i would have to get up another hour earlier, even if i include the time i save on parking

b) my commute is long. and i'm pretty sure a hefty part of my check would then go toward fuel. what does a tank take, anyway? diesel?

but damn, would i be the envy of everyone at rush hour.

jon, your hydrant thing would be awesome, but i get to work so late in the day that i'd be sure to be spotted. god knows what they'd do to me. i'll def keep that in mind for when i have to park outside a new residence, though. it'd be handy for when i have to come home late at night.

yeah, rpuddles, parking sucks. and it's a very visible enemy, ale, when you get a ticket on the windshield.

Andy said...

The problem with having a tank is that I'm sure you'd just have people standing in front of you, acting in defiance a la "Tiananamen tank man".

Jon said...

Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of a tank, lots of options when traffic gets to a standstill… you can just be like, “not for me.” And veer off wherever because I’m pretty sure a tank can go wherever it wants. But fuel is a major concern. I can’t see how that’s economically viable.

Ok, new solution… this will take some ingenuity, but I say you develop a special kind of paint that appears red when your car is not present. What you will need to do is figure out a way to have it react to a special radio frequency that will be transmitted from a special transmitter in your car. No one will park there because they will see a red curb, but when you pull up, the transmitter will magically turn it white and no one will be the wiser because they won’t see you moving anything. You could use this special paint anywhere in the city that you like to go and you would never have to worry about parking or tickets again. Yeah, I think this is a much better idea than my first one. No manual labor, very discrete, and on the off chance that anyone witnessed the transformation, they wouldn’t believe it themselves anyway. They would think it was a mirage or something that they saw.

Seriously, I’m about ready to elevate myself to genius status for that idea… Anyone that wants to fund my research and make this a reality, please send your checks in the amount of no less than one million dollars to me. I’ll get right on it, I swear.

kaiyareturns said...

i have three alarms.
1) teaser 15 min snoozer
2) real alarm
3) 5 min to go alarm

one can not have enough ALARMS!

Ale said...

Cadiz, don't worry when we move to my villa in italy, i'm sure Giaccomo will make special parking space for your bmw in the stables.


Modern Viking said...

Might as well just park on a sidewalk. Nobody walks anymore anyway.

Ale said...

pssst cadiTH- i left one just for you--

'ka said...

oh my... so many good ideas there... anybody really do that???