Thursday, July 14, 2005

MFEO

words women should hear more often:

'That's your problem -- you don't wanna be in love; you wanna be in love in a movie.'

however, that is damn ironic, considering the entire premise.

16 comments:

Ale said...

went over my head- too american pop cult-- :) u forget i'm FOB

cadiz12 said...

ale. you are not a FOB. and i know you've probably seen 'sleepless in seattle.'

the main point is that most girls live in la-la land when it comes to expectations. and it's hard to break when movies are constantly making it seem like finding the one by random chance is actually viable.

sorry, sometimes at the end of the night it's tough for me to control my cryptic side.

Ale said...

oh no- i DID get the sleepless in seatle frase... i dont get teh what MFEO is???

lucasjackson7 said...

keep this on the DL, but i think Nora Ephron is a genius when it comes to directing/writing romantic comedies.

if it weren't for her and woody allen, i probably would scream in every bar i go to at night and end up talking to a girl who has no idea about real movies and real music.

it's not just women cadiz, my life is the entire emotional red light of Vanilla Sky on 24 hour, dolby pro sound repeat. if my dating life weren't such a house of cards, i think i would have my nose buried away in a fitzgerald novel somewhere instead of blogging at 11:24pm on return from striking out at the local watering hole.

just be in love.

cadiz12 said...

i know. i'm a sucker for her cheesy movies, too. s.i.s. is by far one of my favorites.

the problem arises when you go out every day and look around hoping to run into the person you're *supposed* to be with. and every day you come away realizing how ridiculous that is, but can't seem to stop doing it.

i'd be a lot more content if i could just turn it off. thanks a lot, nora.

Lou (a.k.a. rainpuddles) said...

I agree... Hollywood has really distorted the way people, mostly women, view love and marriage.

The whole "soul mate" outlook can be really dangerous because as soon as a marriage begins to have problems, people think "it's not supposed to be this way... he/she mustn't be my soul mate... I need to end this relationship and find my soul mate." That's majorly simplified, but I think it's often true (as high divorce rates would atest to).

Jon said...

I don’t think Hollywood stops with love and marriage; they’ve romanticized several topics. You go to them to escape your real life and forget about your problems, but then they go and create new problems by making you wish for an unrealistic scenario… That is why I both love and hate movies. Movie love only has to last for a couple of hours… real love has to last a lifetime… that’s a concept no one really wants to think about… at least I think it is.

On the topic of soul mates… I believe that everyone has several soul mates… I can think of a few I have, but I don’t think that these are necessarily the people you wind up getting married to. I think a soul mate is anyone you connect with on a seemingly scary number of levels and a lot of things get passed back and forth on an unspoken level. It’d probably be great to be married to a soul mate, but invariably, circumstances prevent it. You meet too late, you meet too soon, you’re not gay… whatever the situation, it just doesn’t work out like in the movies. That’s when real life becomes slight less fun that I would like.

And still other times, you have a bad burrito and you’re not sure if what you feel is love or the beginnings of a bad case of diarrhea… it’s always a tough call when you eat Mexican food…

quycksilver said...

intersting thread you've got going here Cadiz! Much as I like Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, SIS doesn't do it for me--largely because I so abolutely love Harry & Sally . . .
and as for Jon's post, I agree with him 100% about the movies and think that love and a bad case of mexican food probably have more in common than we like to think. Before ya'll think I'm just being cynical in a potty-talk kinda way, think about it. Both are uncontrollable, uncomfortable, potentially awkward and tense and thoroughly unpredictable. The difference is that one is, well, desirable by a lot of us, and the other. . . well, the other just isn't.

Cheers!

bloggirl43 said...

What an interesting movie to use as an example on a blog. The idea of finding love with someone you've never met or seen. Has anyone found love via blog? How about you, Jon? Are any of your soul mates fellow bloggers? It's an intimate way of getting to know someone, and people show sides of themselves they otherwise would hide...

cadiz12 said...

yep, hollywood has skewed so many expectations of the general public. hearing your soul mate on the radio; going to the basement when there's a killer on the loose; one guy holding off the many, beating the baddie and coming away with the girl and only minor injuries.

you guys are on the mark with the upset stomach = love thing. all that anxiety for unexpected results. yet somehow, that's what all of us are looking for.

highcontrast said...

we are all deluded. movie love has ruined it for us all.

Jon said...

Have I found any soul mates amongst bloggers? Can’t really say… while I enjoy my interaction with several bloggers immensely, I could never really say how much we have in common without having spent some actual time with them. There’s no body language in text, and tone is sometimes hard to read. I’d like to think, optimistically of course, that I would get along with everyone in person, but I have been wrong on so many occasions in the past, that I know better than to assume such a thing.

Plus, to be sure, I should really avoid the Mexican food, which ain’t easy in Southern California…

Gloria Glo said...

Okay, so I'm in on this late, but couldn't resist the topic. I'm not sure I believe in love at all. I believe in lust and I believe in compatibility, but I'm not sure that the two combine into that thing called "real love." I think you just find someone you lust after who seems to like you and, what the hell? You date awhile. If you're at the point that you each want commitment, you get married.

Someday, I'll bite the bullet and marry a nice guy who can raise kids - I have no illusions that we'll be MFEO. That just plain doesn't happen. Relationships require too much work. And that's the lie we tell - that "true love" doesn't require any effort to endure.

As for women being the only ones affected by movies, that's crap. Guys are equally ridiculous in their hopes about women as women have become about men.

Not gonna apologize for bitterness. I'm a recovered romantic. We're a harsh lot.

cadiz12 said...

i don't know, attraction definitely has to be there, but i think for it to last, you really have to have a lot more.

as the years go by, the tolerance for settling gets lower. it's not necessarily bitterness, but experience that makes us harsh.

Gloria Glo said...

See, I think my tolerance grows. I get so tired of fighting the battle with the "right" guy - I will never be perfect enough to score the guys I want, but I want kids. So, I feel myself thinking about people I never would have considered before.

Like I said, big believer in lust, so, yeah, attraction has to figure into the equation, but I'm tired of working so hard for nothing. Somedays "nice" seems a lot better than "right."

cadiz12 said...

i definitely hear what you're saying, glo, and i'm weary too. but i dated someone for a really long time who was *almost* right. i just figured i could deal with the parts that made me unhappy, but those things were actually very big and started chipping away at me. i'm generally a very reasonable person and i'm aware that no one, especially me, is perfect, but it was bad. you seem like a cool girl, and i don't think you, or anyone else for that matter should settle for less than you deserve.

i know it sounds like crap (because i hear it all the time, myself) but you will find someone. he might drive you nuts, but you'll love him and you won't have to settle.