Tuesday, July 26, 2005

life is in the details -- a running rant

this stuff drives me nuts:

12/27
when my brother hijacks my phone to talk to the person i want to talk to about stupid sports crap.

12/26
having to get up and go to work when the ENTIRE FREE WORLD is off today. and they're all clogging up the freaking highways, making me late.

12/12
when people don't like me because of who i am, not because of anything i've done. :(

12/9
the fact that my car automatically locks when you close the door if the engine is running; inevitably, i have a wet seat from having the window open a little while i clean the snow off my ride just to prevent myself from being locked out.

12/4
stupid terrorists who have taken away my right to come with you into the gate to say goodbye at the airport

12/3
not knowing what to say at dinner with people you just met that you'd really like to impress and kicking yourself for not thinking of something witty to use to break up the uncomfortable silence.

12/2
choosing a dress to wear when the only information provided is "semi-formal"

11/27
when they put big old sprouts on top of the thai chicken fettucine, which get stuck in the noodles and make the twirl method impossible, causing the peanut sauce to splatter all over my reports and myself

11/20
Finding a dress to wear

11/7
the people who make sure you don’t stand your car too long outside the airport terminal

11/5
unfounded fears about judgement

11/3
Double boiler heating/cooling

10/24
when a misunderstanding can lead to you walking around for 2 days as if your best friend just moved to siberia when a conversation could have straightened it out in the first place.

10/1
realizing at 11:59 p.m. that you put your car at a meter when you got to work today and only paid up until 5:30 p.m. and completely forgot to move it to the lot. then when you nearly bust a gut hauling ass out there, you realize that because you had put the car two spaces up from where you normally park, it counted as 'business district' so the ticket was $20 more expensive. however, you're so glad you hadn't been towed it doesn't even matter.

9/10
when the taillights of the chronic-braking car in front of you start to look like a monster, whose face you're very tempted to smash in

9/3
when i'm trying my best to be discreet, but even people i hardly know can see through my cheesy smile

8/26
talking smack about someone who sold you tickets only to feel dumb after he tries to make it up to you, showing that he isn't that bad of a guy afterall

8/19
getting overcharged for bogus baseball tickets, and only finding out after 2 hours' sleep, a cranky car ride and waiting an hour in the rain. THEN having the jerk who sold them to you not make any extra effort to make you feel better about being duped.

8/14

sitting in an office that is too cold to be comfortable, but too warm to warrant a sweater

when you finally can't stand the too-cold-too-warm office, haul your booty all the way over to the cafe, get chicken noodle soup to go, and then have it fall out of the bottom of the paper bag (which was wet from the counter) right in the middle of the crosswalk

unsuccessfully trying to imitate actual dancing at a party populated by professional dancers -- and not even being able to drink b/c you have to drive to suburbia at the end of the night


8/11
losing weight only to find out your booty jeans are now your saggy jeans. :(

buying jeans

when the fear of jumping from the pan into the fire makes you stay put to boil to death

people who get your snapshots out of order, or worse, get their greasy prints all over your loved ones' faces.

being nocturnal


7/29
people who whistle/click/clack etc. when they've got you on hold while they look something up

when a lightning strike renders your vcr incapable of recording, but it can still do everything else

when your favorite piece of clothing/bag/shoe finally just gives up and gets a hole/shrinks/gets a stain/breaks/gives up on you

pedestians who mockingly saunter across the street, not even at a crosswalk, taunting you with their eyes and slowing down when they see you're in a hurry

following chronic brakers on the highway

7/26

the sound of creasing paper

the stupid narrow name sticker they put on cd cases that is impossible to remove in less than 30 seconds. for god's sake, i just spent five minutes trying to get the wrapper off.

mosquito bites

mosquitoes in general -- what significant role do they play in the ecosystem, anyway?

chunky peanut butter

how the one thing you're craving is exactly the one thing missing from the refrigerator

seeing outlines of the dead insects lying in the cover of your ceiling light

sleeping limbs

stale lucky charms (i only like the oats)

being unable to fall asleep when it's imperative that you do so

3 comments:

lucasjackson7 said...

the people who invented packaging cds should spend an eternity in hell next to the angry zombies who use my broken cd cases as weapons.

and i agree wholeheartedly on the mosquitos in general. i saw one last night that i coulda thrown a saddle on and rode to my 8am class.

as for being unable to fall asleep, i could tell you, but the first rule of figh...

justanothersarah said...

I completely agree with all of them except the peanut butter - sometimes I like it chunky.

Guyana-Gyal said...

A mozzie kept me awake...as I fell asleep, it would bite, then I'd fall asleep again...bite...awake...sleep...bite...oh miserable little critter with no purpose in life...