Monday, May 09, 2005

parking lot pranks

okay, so i'm walking from the main office to my car about to drive to the dungeon. it's 11 p.m. it's balmy outside. i'm wearing sandals, jeans and a corduroy jacket (translation: not dressed like a ho. not that it would matter, anyhow).

i pass three security guards in the office on the way out. they wave me goodbye.

as i walk, i see that the car parked three cars before mine has a person sitting in it. i do a double take b/c i'm not used to seeing people sitting in the patches of parking lot shadow at my officeplace. this jackass takes that as an invitation to roll down his window and say, 'hey, you want some p*ssy?'

i thought, JIGGAWHAT? but i said, 'excuse me?'

and he held up his phone and said, 'what's your name?'

i walked faster.

i got in my car and barely had it in gear before i tried to knock down the gate on the way out. that shit creeped me out. so when i got to the maximum-security dungeon, i had them give me the number to the security at the main office. i called, told the person my story and left a number.

i have gotten three calls back.

the first to describe the guy -- didn't really see too much besides his race and haircut. i sort of guessed on age. i'm SO bad at this; i had no idea about the make of the car. just the color and that it was a sedan.

the second to describe me -- he was going back to the tape to find what happened.

the third to describe my car -- so he could try and piece together where this guy was parked.

so this leads me to believe one of three things:

1) the prospect of dungeon duty caused me to hallucinate
2) some jackhole was joking around and will now come after me when he gets some kind of reprimand. i'm sure he saw my license plate, and i'm almost positive there are only about 10 other people in this company who look anything like me. and none of them work these hours.
3) this crazy will now wait for me in the parking lot every night and do more ridiculous things to rattle me.
4) i overreacted and he really was saying 'hey, wanna do the Watusi?' and i'll be the one reprimanded.

i'm mostly afraid of scenario 3. and of course this has put me back into that hotbed of suspicion, from which i had just spent the last 4 months taking baby steps. i am clutching the pepper spray as we speak.

i'd like to take a moment to thank the man who made this possible: my high school boyfriend, whose can't-take-no-for-an-answer stalker ways have given me a paranoia that i will carry to my death like the stone around my neck that it is.

thanks, buddy.


Jon said...

You should have security escort you to your car every night. Then, in your spare time, you should master the ancient ninja art of ass kicking. That way you can be prepared for any future attacks. Or, if you’d like, I can send Steve (pictured to the right) to be your personal bodyguard. He may be small, but don’t let that fool you, he can handle his business.

jazz said...

honestly, i think you're overreacting. the guy was a sleaze. who knows why he was there but he prolly says shit like that all the time. he's not going to remember you from adam.

and when people say things to you, don't talk back. ignore them. i think you only encourage them with the, "excuse me?" because they know they have your attention at that point.

words from a much harassed woman...

cadiz12 said...

you guys are probably right. it does seem kind of silly now.

i guess i got spooked because it's the last place i'd expect something like that. like opening your fridge and seeing an elephant.

but i should brush up on my roundhouse kicks, anyway.

omar said...

It's easy to shrug it off now, but I don't blame you for doing what you did at the time.

Still, I'd take jon up on his offer. Who else has a small orange ninja as a bodyguard? That would be sweet.

Jon said...

Just give me the word, and the following morning you will receive a FedEx package containing one Steve, and possibly a Jack, it really depends on if Steve feels like traveling alone... (this is provided the word comes before 4:15pm PST)

'ka said...

it's still good to be cautious, tho... :)

cadiz12 said...

just the thought that steve, and possibly jack, have got my back is a very comforting thing.


Jon said...

Ok, if you change your mind, you know where to go. Plus, misusing the company FedEx account is kind of a hobby of mine…