Friday, May 20, 2005

sith's revenge

let's recap the highlights of today:

* sleep was bad:

in the middle of my much-needed rest, i woke up, possessed. i shot out of bed and was running around the house in a frenzy -- only about 13% awake -- getting stuff together and trying to convince people i was having surgery and needed to get ready for it.

* waking up was bad:

after i was reassured and led back to my bed, i fell into such a deep sleep that i managed to turn off the alarm across the room without waking up -- until three hours past when i needed to. i didn't even make it to the hospital before work.

in an attempt to multitask, i left my lunch unattended. boiling noodles in the microwave may seem harmless to the average person, but the average person probably has not come back 15 minutes later to find her lunch bloated and bulging out from the bowl. ramen is absolutely inedible when overcooked, and looks disgusting in the garbage disposal as well.

* traffic was bad:

this message is for mr. gray infiniti.
sunday driving is never an acceptable method of travel in the left lane during rush hour. in fact, it is unacceptable on sundays and every other day of the week, for that matter. i also suggest you go back to your drivers' education facility and slap someone for not explaining that the rear-view mirror is a means to know WHEN TO GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY. people, such as ambulances or nissans, are trying to get to their gd destinations.

this message is for mr. blue-green corsica.
you motherf*cker. what ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH made you think that trapping someone who is trying to get around gray infiniti grandpa by driving alongside them and slowing down when they slow down was funny? especially when the coast is completely clear all around? you just bought yourself a one-way ticket to hell, pal. and the first thing they are gonna do is cut off that fugly ponytail and MAKE YOU EAT IT.

on top of that, in the patch of bad traffic i looked down to see yet another one of my pants have been rendered unwearable. there is some kind of hole on the outside of the right leg. more like a tear. ugh. now i'm really going to have to go shopping.

* parking was bad:

i made 11 (got that? E-LEV-EN) loops around the 8-block vicinity of the office, trying to find a space. what made it worse was there were several lovely meters taunting me by having f-ing CONSTRUCTION EQUIPMENT in front of them. however, after 45 minutes i managed to cram my car between a dumpster and an escalade without tripping the alarm on either. (jon, you would have been proud.) needless to say, i was a little late.

* dinner was bad:

i was desperate. so when we got to Popeyes, ten minutes before it closed, i ordered mashed potatoes and mac and cheese. the mac was very obviously from the very bottom of the tray, scraped together and compacted beyond the limits of physics into my tiny bowl. yeah, it wasn't good. i should have learned my noodle lesson this afternoon.

* the weather was bad:

there was this creepy-ass misting fog rolling around the city today, decapitating most of the skyline. it honestly looked like a scene from the first Batman movie. and when i went outside to move the car into the lot (after the suits go home), it began to pour. as i got into the building, it stopped. of course, for the rest of the night i walked around the building with the very top layer of my hair curly, sticking out in every direction like a halo because of the humidity. (the shop had ran out of my only beauty must-have, anti-frizz leave-in conditioner.)

something about the rain makes people forget the rules of the road. getting wet does NOT give pedestrians the authorization to dart out from between parked cars into oncoming traffic and expect drivers to see them. having windshield wipers on does not make a case for failing to make sure a car isn't coming in the parking lot, especially when you are hiding behind a jeep grand cherokee. people are stupid.


*but this, this was good:

as i came in, dripping from the rain, i bumped into a middleaged coworker whose kooky style and lack of volume control make for hours of entertainment. i asked her what she thought the deal was with the creepy foggy mess outside.

'oh, that?'

she closed her eyes, tipped her head back slowly and replied in a very authoritative voice.

'it's just those star trek people. they've done something to turn every major city into gotham so they can have just the right atmosphere for their premiere.'

11 comments:

Jon said...

I went to see Star Wars tonight… by myself (I mean, the theater was full, but I didn’t know any of them. I’ll blog about it when I have time) but the weather here was typical socal. 75 deg. With very low humidity. It’s really nice here, I’m not going to lie. I grew up here though, so I’m obviously biased.

And I am proud. Keep up the good work! (11 times? That’s both ridiculous and unnecessary… and I complain when I have to park across the street. You humble me.)

cadiz12 said...

thanks man.

but don't you ever wish for snow? not even for 10 minutes? i guess you don't know what you're missing. i need the seasons, as finicky and crappy as they may be; they help me accept how fast the years are going by.

(btw, the links were terribly easy. it was the fear of going blank again that made me drag my feet. what did it was that in the span of 2 minutes, spam comments went from 2 to 74. for the love of god, i hope this is the end of the plague.)

omar said...

Snow?! Whatever you do, jon, don't wish for snow.

I think Mr. Blue-Green Corsica has been frequenting western NY also.

Angel #07 said...

speaking of weather: light rain, torrential rain, HAIL that I thought would crack my windshield, and then a light mist...all in the span of 10 min! god I love chi-town weather!

Jon said...

I have heard this “seasons” argument many times. Let me just relay this unnecessarily long story. My first winter in NY while attending college was extremely uneventful for me. I was surrounded by people constantly asking me what it was like to see snow for the first time and how was I dealing with the cold? They knew I was from So. Cal. so they assumed that to me, anything below 65 was cold. Here’s the thing, it was not even close to my first time seeing snow. It snows regularly in CA. No, not on the coast where I live, but in the mountains, about an hour and a half away, it snows a lot. And even without the snow, the temp regularly drops below 40 and occasionally below 30. I know that still doesn’t compare, but who the hell wants the temp below 30? Who’s like, “Finally! I get to put on 5 layers of clothing!! It’s been too long!”

Now to expand even further, is it true that in California, you can ski/snowboard in the morning/afternoon and then watch the sunset on the beach? Yes, that is true. I know people are always partial to where they grew up, I am too. But I’ve lived with these so called seasons, and it’s really not that much different. Main difference is in CA, when you want snow, you can go visit it, and when you are done with it, you can leave it behind. And as much as I’d like to live in a place where you can freeze to death in the winter and die of heat stroke in the summer, I just can’t seem to make the leap. In the end, it really falls under the category of don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. I do not regret having lived in an area with “seasons,” heck, I don’t even regret that one time when it slushed and encased my car in ¾ inch shell of ice that it took me 30 minutes in the snow to chisel through before I could even get inside. It’s all about experiences, and I’m up for all kinds, good or bad. I know I’ve bored you out of you mind, and sadly, I have much more to say on this topic and I’ve shown restraint, if you can believe that….

Ale said...

maybe its not the starwar-ers, maybe Chicago has its very own "invisible enemy" --hehehe

Ale said...

jon,
are you trying to CONVINCE us that 65 degree weather, no humidity, and the ability to visit snow at any time is good???? are you trying to laugh at us?

dude, it doesn't take a genious to realize that it is in fact perfect -- you don't have to convince us. and you're not partial, you like this kind of weather, probably not because you were born in place like that, but because you are a NORMAL human.

so don't try to convince us that humidity and below 30 weather is bad- we KNOW! OH BOY DO WE KNOW IT-
-i'm on my way over to break your knee cap!!!

-- waw, new yorkers really must have done a number on you if you feel the need to defend the perfect paradise-- or are you really just fishing for complements on being smart for living in Cali???

Anonymous said...

Akshay

How is your brother now?

Well, looks like you had a bad day. There is always tomorrow! ;-))

Allright time to leave work alone and head off into the sunset for a beautiful weekend.

cadiz12 said...

omar: c'mon, buddy, admit it, you love snow just the teensiest bit.
dig deep, you'll find it.

angel #07: no kidding. the best defense is be prepared for anything.

jon: well, you seem to have all the bases covered, and a damn good deal with the choose-to-use-it weather scenarios. but i still think dealing with crappy weather only makes you appreciate the good stuff even more. and if you have the option for climate control, well that just takes all the fun out of it. like when i was in minneapolis, during the summer NOBODY took a nice day for granted by napping or going to the movies, because they enjoy every last drop of good weather. i love that.

ale: damn right it has its own invisible enemy. and it's called PARKING (just like yours). personally, i think parking is what god has sent down to punish me for all the smack talking i have done in the past. it took 30 min to find parking at the hospital today. sigh.

akshay: yeah, yesterday wasn't so stellar. but today was a lot better.

my brother is still draining a lot of fluid from his chest cavity and has to walk around with this long tube attached to sort of a briefcase thing with window so you can measure how much has come out. as soon as it's 3 ccs instead of 300 ccs within a 4-hour period, they're going to start talking about letting him out.

but he got rid of most of the IVs, so he's a lot happier. and my dad bought him this really cool back massager from sharper image, so he's pretty happy about that.

Jon said...

Actually, around here we have a different kind of suffering. Imagine living in a place where it’s nice all the time, but you ALWAYS have to work. You go outside everyday at lunch for a little teaser and think, my god, it’s absolutely perfect out here, and I have to go back inside to that damn cubicle. Plus, the cost of living is getting so outrageous here, I don’t think I can afford to buy a house where I grew up. The house that my parents paid 108k for back in ’85 would probably go for around 600k now. It’s just ridiculous, and the prices are only going up. I’ll need to triple my income AND trick some woman who makes the same amount of, if not more, money than me into marrying me just to consider it. It kind of sucks. I don’t think I’ll ever make that much money, and I’m not clever enough to trick any woman into marrying me.

cadiz12 said...

sadly, it's like that everywhere, jon.

good thing you'll have that fantasy island when you become a millionaire playboy.