Sunday, August 14, 2005

rebuilding year

at first i was trying to figure out a very symbolic way of writing this without boring or losing most of you. i had it all worked out in a convoluted sports metaphor with me as either a player or a team that's in a rebuilding year. i was going to substitute the job change with switching teams or getting a new stadium, the crazy hours that leave me with no social life like tearing my ACL and being benched, trying to find a place to live in the city like looking for a contract, and the big breakup like dumping a goodfornothing agent. (let me be honest. i really just wanted to say he was trying to pull a jerry maguire -- focusing all his energy on the wrong thing -- but that i didn't want to wait around until Cush screwed his sorry ass over before he realized where the golden ticket really was.)

i consulted my own personal sports guru, who shot holes through my logic and told me the idea was just one big jumbled up mixed metaphor. he was having too much fun messing with me by telling me the only believeable injury i could cast myself with is was a torn groin. partially, i think, because he doubted i'd actually put it up here. (so take that, sucker, there it is. the real reason i was reluctant was because good old gymnastics taught me those kinds of injuries hurt like a mf. i don’t need that kind of karma.)

yeah, so i scrapped that whole idea and decided, it's my day -- i'm going to inflict a whole bunch of rambling on the unsuspecting public (more than usual). yes, this past year, my world turned upside-down. i've even glimpsed the darker side of hell; it's true. but i'm still kicking. and i accept the fact that it could have been much worse. i'm thankful it wasn't.

that's not necessarily going to keep me from complaining on a daily basis -- that's who i am. but i will take a moment to share a few nuggets of wisdom i picked up on route 26:

* it's possible to be in paradise and yet be completely miserable.
* always remember to eat. even if you feel like you're going to puke with every bite.
* you can only soak up so many boxes of kleenex before the pity party gets played out.
* no one but you can tell you what to feel. or think, for that matter.
* everyone has their own crap to take care of. you landed on this earth alone, you're going to leave it alone, so why not learn how to fly solo in between? think of your copilots as bonuses.
* the accuracy of horoscopes can be very scary.
* nothing puts your troubles in perspective faster than someone you can't live without going under the knife.
* free alcohol is the most expensive drink. ever. (i saw that at
* no matter what you do to try and straighten it, at the end of the day a pig's tail is always going to be curly (okay, i stole that from my mother).
* there is a grave difference between what you want and what you need.
* your true peeps will somehow be there for you. maybe not right away, maybe not how you'd want them to, but they will stand up when you need them. and sometimes, who they end up being will surprise you.
* if you hit CTRL S in blogger, it will automatically publish whatever you have on screen.
* anything worth anything is going to be hella hard.
* once-in-a-lifetime opportunities will nearly ALWAYS come up at the worst possible moment. it is a test of your merit and you will either thank your lucky stars or have to shoulder that regret till you're 83.
* it's time for a change when cable isn't exciting anymore.
* sometimes you have to suck it up and do something you're afraid of because you don't know what'll happen. and what may happen may just be what you needed afterall. but chickenshits would never have found out.
* and most importantly, ALWAYS listen to the little duende in your gut that starts pulling on your intestines like a shirt sleeve at the first sign of trouble. that little goblin will never steer you wrong, but if your ego/heart/logic is yapping too loudly, you’ll never hear what it has to say.

here's to the rebuilding year. see you in the pennant race.


X said...

Happy birthday, Cadiz.


Nadia said...

Happy birthday, Cadiz.

I find it very karmic that my first visit to your blog and it's your birthday.

Thanks for the nuggets of wisdom. Scratch 26 off the list of years I'm going to have to pay attention in; I'll just use your list as a guide.

jazz said...

happy happy birthady@!!

i loved this list.

also, you need to e-mail over your horoscope site...

Jon said...

I don’t think I learned that much at 26… I think there’s a lot more parity in the league these days, so you may not be rebuilding for long. You may just find yourself playoff bound before you know it. (how was that for convoluting a metaphor?)

Noelia said...

Feliz Cumpleanos! =)

Syar said...

happy birthday! and thanks X for letting me cotton on to that fact.

i loved your list. especially since I was surfing postsecret as I was reading your list. creepy karmic stuff.

* everyone has their own crap to take care of. you landed on this earth alone, you're going to leave it alone, so why not learn how to fly solo in between? think of your copilots as bonuses

i liked this best.

you put me *does quick math* 9 years ahead of schedule. go leos!

lucasjackson7 said...

Happy Birthday, Cadiz! This is such a nice post.

Sundays are such a reflective day.

cadiz12 said...

thanks, everyone. i really had a wonderful day, full of quality time with those i love the most and wishes from those i couldn't be with.

welcome, nadia, noeliab and (i think i welcomed you before) syar!

Gloria Glo said...

Great list. Good start to a good year, I hope.

But, you forgot that no matter how much you want something, some things just won't be yours...and that's where the learning kicks in.

cool cat said...

my bday wishes to you were late in arriving (for shame).
so now im sending you another... :)

and i must say that your list was quite nice.
but hard to read too... i grew up thinking life would
get easy. and it doesnt. it just get interesting.
but this post is a good list to look at often.
i really like your mom's contribution (and i think it's
adorable that you "cite" your sources). finally,
where is this jerry maguire thing from??? i often
refer to that movie...sigh.

oh and cant wait till later this month ;)

cadiz12 said...

coolcat, the jerry maguire this is about how jerry practically does backflips to land a contract with that kid from stand by me, cushman or something, he completely neglects cuba gooding jr.'s character, who is a little obnoxious but in the end the one who sticks by him, while cush totally screws him over.

it's only by a twist of luck on the phone that jerry finds out he's going to get screwed by cush and realizes he should focus his attention to the proper place. not everyone is so lucky to get a sign like that and sometimes there are no second chances in football. or life, for that matter.

cool cat said...

ah! so the italics are your words. i get it now. im just slow :P
hi to everyone else too.
but yes, that movie certainly applies!
and i would say you got a sign of some sort...i think.