Wednesday, March 09, 2005

know a good place to get some discipline?

wow, ale, sounds like you're getting your fill of rice these days. i had momma's home cookin for lunch and a bag of chips for a snack. by the way, bbq ruffles don't really go with lemonade unless you've got potato salad and cheeseburgers off the grill, to accompany them. i'll have dinner when i get home. i'm probably the only one who has dinner at 3 a.m. does that mean it counts as breakfast?

i realized something today. it is impossible for me to get out of bed unless i have somewhere to go. even though there are about a hundred things around the house and errands i could be doing before work, i CANNOT gather the strength to do much more than watch old school reruns, pbs cartoons or talk shows before i have to go to work. i think it's a disease.

today i did NOTHING. besides b.e.w (bathe, eat and work). i am not even kidding. all morning i lay in bed and listened to npr between fits of dreaming about helping my friend paint a mural. it was gorgeous. i did the sky.

this is what swoon had to say:
'You are wasting your time on some unworthy pleasures if you saw an artist painting or drawing in your dream; if you were doing the artwork, you will have to revise your plans in order to achieve the recognition you want. if you dreamed of painting anything (like furniture, woodwork, etc.), it suggests that you are contemplating some activity which you would prefer to keep secret--think it over well before you commit yourself.'

ooh. no joke i'm going to have to revise my plan. i don't even HAVE a plan. my plan is the same every day: get as much sleep as is humanly possible before i drag my ass out of bed, get ready, fill my stomach and then race to work without getting a ticket or being killed. maybe my subconscious is telling me to get a life.

these are the things i would do if i had more motivation and discipline:

* brush up on my skills in the mother tongue; i have all these books i could be looking at, but no ganas to actually pick them up
* finish up some of the projects i have lying around in various stages of progress
* exercise. ever since i had to give up my dance class b/c of these hours, racing up 6 flights of stairs to get to the office on time is the only thing that even remotely counts.
* return that jacket i bought like a month ago but haven't had the chance to get to the mall to give back. it's still in the bag. maybe i should try it on again. who knows, i might like it.
* clean out my closet
* find something good from the bookstore/library
* go shopping for some new work clothes

but for now i'm going to start small. tomorrow i'm going to get my eyebrows done. it's well beyond the point where my friend jackie would have put her hands up over her eyebrows and waggled her fingers out menacingly. but you know how it is; you go there and have to wait. and i'm on a tight schedule! i've got precious sleep to catch up on and every second counts when you're in bumper to bumper traffic. but maybe i should do the world a favor and get over there.

1 comment:

Ale said...

Ok, I have a suggestion...(i usually do) Why don't you just make an agenda for tomorrow say, and write down exactly what you would like to accomplish and than just do it. Even if you don't want to- do it anyway. Shedule a time to work out...etc. Tomorrow follow the shedule EXACTLY. And see what happens. I do not promise you will be happy about it, but at the end of the day (or in your case night) you WILL feel good about how you've spent your time, and that will make you motivated for the next day.
About discipline-- its about keeping in "line" for extended periods of time. Its not dissipline if you can make yourself do something ONCE, discipline is when you can make yourself do something everyday for six months!! and the payoff?? well it doesn't all of the sudden become a joy to get up in the morning and "do what you've planned to do" but it does become easier to MAKE yourself do it.
The mistake that I personally was making is thinking that discipline is something that you decide to have one day and from than on you're set. NOPE, discipline is a descision you have to make everyday for at least SIX months! now i just chose six months because after that you would have LEARNED what it takes to be disciplined. (i'm working on it...) So bottom line is:
make yourself a six month agenda and FOLLOW IT to a TTTTT!!! and know that you have to stick to it for a WHIIIILE before it gets any easier. But fear not, you will have daily rewards. YOU WILL feel better and better everyday because you will see that you are actually accomplishing things... instead of now-- feeling worse and worse that yet another day went by and nothing was done.
ok Home Work time: I want to see a week by week shedule POSTED so WE can ALL monitor you!!! :) and make you feel the responsibility to stick with it.
what do you say??? :)